"It still looks the same" Scott Moffatt said to himself as he stood on the rooftop of the DoubleTree for the first time in ten years.
"Looks the same.....but doesn't feel the same does it?" said a voice from behind him.
"Fuck...Dave...damnit, you scared the shit outta me."
"Relax, would you. I was just coming up to check on you....you've been distant since we got here. Then you go and disappear up here for three hours."
"I needed to think."
"Think or remember? When are you going to get over it? You both discussed it...you both agreed....where's the problem?"
"You don"t know what you're talking about Dave...we made the decision for all of YOU."
"Oh, well then, should we drop down on our knees and thank our lucky stars you thought of us...you've spent nearly nine years being bitter because of something that no one asked you to do. That makes sense."
With that saidt Dave stalked downstairs into the hotel. "FUCK!!! Godamnit," Scott screamed.
For nine years he had watched from a distance....loved from a distance....wondering and hoping....wishing they could take back the conversation that had made his life a living hell. The conversation they had where they decided they would be who they were "supposed" to be. Their parents had been estatic....and that had hurt him more than anything had ever hurt. Even when he nearly lost Taylor in the beginning...that hadn"t hurt near as much....because this meant that he wasn"t accepted as he was. The triplets had been supportive but he was pretty sure that Dave was the only one who truly accepted him as anything but "Scott Moffatt: girl magnet".
The good-bye had been the hardest good-bye he had ever gone through. They had decided to cut all contact so he knew he would never see Tay again. Even now he could still remember the feel of his lips, hair and skin. He could remember exactly what he smelled of..strawberries and peppermint. What he remembered the most however..was how Taylors eyes had looked tear-filled yet not regretful as he clearly stated "I love you". Then he had walked away. Leaving a broken soul standing alone...a broken soul too afraid to say it back.
They had both had the "expected girlfriends"....in Scott's case one of his oldest friends who he had been "dating" since he was nineteen. He loved her....but he didn"t..couldn"t LOVE her.....which is exactly the problem that had led Scott up to the roof this evening....his family said it was time he got married....but there was no way he could continue the lies that far. His sanity couldn"t handle it. He wondered what would happen if he did go through with it. What would Taylor think? Would he even care? Would he react like Scott had when he heard the rumors about Taylor and Mandy Moore a few years ago?
"Okay...enough of that Moffatt...that's just too disgusting to contemplate..." Scott laughed to himself as he thought about that.....maybe Dave was right. Maybe it was time to get over it and move on.....
"Thank you, Dave," Scott said as he walked back in the direction of his room. It really was time to get over it....and fuck what anyone said about it.
It wasn"t time to get over Taylor...he knew he never would....no it was time to get over the agreement.....but first he needed to do something else.... Scott sat down and dialed a number he knew by heart. (What, you thought he hadn"t kept tabs on the boy?) It rang three times before someone picked up....
"Hello?" said a voice Scott would know anywhere.....a voice that could still make his heart speed up and make him feel like his whole world was spinning out of control and he didn"t want it to stop.........
"Hi Taylor....it's Scott.......I love you too......whens the next time you're
gonna be in L.A.?....."