Madeline sat stiffly in the wooden chair. Her eyes were focused on her hands, which were folded and resting on the kitchen table. Across from her, Waldo sat, shuffling a deck of cards. "Wanna play go fish?" he asked.
"Huh?" She looked up, a bewildered expression on her face. She was hungry, tired, and scared. The LAST thing she wanted to do was play cards with one of the bad buys who took her from her family. All she wanted to do is go home.
Waldo repeated the question. "Wanna play go fish?" He continued to shuffle the cards.
Maddy shrugged her shoulders.
"It's a yes-or-no question. Dinner's not here yet, and you look bored. Do you wanna play, or not?"
"Okay..." she mumbled.
"What'd ya say?"
"Okay." Maddy's voice took a sharp tone.
Waldo began to deal the cards. "You like games?"
"I'm nine. Of course I like games."
"You're nine?" He raised an eyebrow. She seemed small for nine.
"Well, I'll be nine in December."
"That's gotta suck, having your birthday close to Christmas. You get less presents."
"I get what I ask for," Maddy said, picking up her cards. "Do you have a two?"
"Go fish. If you get everything you ask for, your folks must have a lot of money. Got a jack?"
"Go fish. I suppose... I got a big family, so I get lots of presents. A nine?"
Waldo handed her the card. "Really? How large? Got a seven?"
"Go fish. My mom has one brother and one sister. My dad has three brothers and three sisters." Maddy bit her bottom lip. What had she just done? It's bad enough she's playing cards with this guy. Now she's telling him about her family!?! Maddy swallowed as Waldo looked at her expectantly. "Got a queen?" she asked tentatively.
"Go fish. What do your parents do for a living? Got a three?"
Maddy stared at the man, wide-eyed. Why was he asking her all these questions? What was the point? What was the reason for all this? "Why am I here? Why are you doing this to me?" Her voice shook with fear.
"I can't tell you. Besides, you wouldn't understand." Waldo's eyes filled with sadness, and his heart went out to her. This girl didn't deserve this.
"If you want money, my dad will give you money. Just, please, let me go home." A few tears spilled down Maddy's cheeks.
"I'm sorry. I can't do that."
"Why? He'll give you whatever you want. He's a rock star." She placed her head in her hands, and her shoulders shook as she cried.
"A rock star?" Waldo cocked his head to the side. Either this girl was confused, or there was something he and Frankie weren't aware of.
"Yes. Taylor Hanson. Just... please, I wanna go home."
Waldo knew this whole kidnapping thing was wrong all along. Why did he go along with it? Because he always let Frankie run the show, that's why. And for who? For what? Here was this girl, sitting at the table, crying profusely. She was here to make Rick Anderson suffer, but her relationship with him was strictly biological. To her, Dad was the man who married her mom, who coached her soccer team, who told her he loved her as he tucked her in every night. Taylor Hanson. And this girl wanted nothing more than to go home to him. "You'll go home soon. Promise."
Maddy wiped her eyes with the back of her hands. "Why should I believe you?" she asked bitterly.
Waldo had to admit, she had a point. Why SHOULD she believe him? "I guess you don't have to. But what else DO you have to believe?"
Maddy sniffed and swallowed. She took a deep breath. "Got an ace?"
He handed her the card as Frankie walked into the kitchen, carrying two bags from McDonald's. "What the hell is this?" His voice boomed, and Maddy sunk in her seat, scared. This is the man who double-checks to make sure her bedroom door is locked at night. Frankie, more than likely, doesn't know she's awake. In fact, she hasn't slept since she was taken. She's afraid is she sleeps, she won't wake up.
"We were hungry and bored. We were playin' a game of go fish to pass the time," Waldo explained.
"Well, stop! And don't do it again! We're kidnappers, not fucking baby-sitters!" Frankie threw the bags onto the kitchen table.
"You're nobody but a horrible man," Maddy mumbled under her breath.
"What!?! What did you say!?!" Frankie's eyes lit up with anger, and his nostrils flared.
"N- nothing..." Maddy sat still in the chair, afraid the slightest movement would set him off.
"Frankie, leave her alone." Waldo came to the girl's defense.
"Oh, shut up! I'm running the show here, asshole!" He turned to the frightened girl. "What did you say?" he asked through clenched teeth.
"Nothing," she replied in a small voice.
"Don't lie to me you little bitch!" Frankie lunged forward, and shoved Maddy out of the chair. She slid across the linoleum floor on her butt. Her eyes were wide with terror, and tears threatened to spill over. "Don't you EVER talk back to me you little fuck! I'm in charge here! That's it. No dinner for you. Waldo, take her to her room!"
"But Frankie..."
"I said take her! Get her out of my sight!"
"Come on," Waldo whispered, helping Maddy to her feet. She stood, wiggled out of his grasp, and followed him to her room. "I'm sorry," he said sadly, shutting the door behind him and locking it.
Maddy sat down on the cot, and it squeaked. She pulled the blanket around her, despite the room's warm temperature. With the exception of the cot, the room was bare. And for some strange reason, the blanket offered a sense of security.
"I wanna go home," Maddy whimpered, finally allowing the tears to spill over. She wanted to play soccer with her best friend, Stacey. She wanted to hold her baby sister, Jenn. She wanted her mother to check her homework, tell her how smart she is, and how one day she can be president. She wanted her father to tell her how beautiful she is, and sing her a lullabye.
The longing for home overwhelmed her. Thinking it would make her feel better, Maddy began to sing the lullabye Taylor sang to her every night. "Sleep, baby, sleep while the world passes by... I'll be the keeper of your dreams tonight..."
Maddy's eyelids became heavy. Not sleeping, fear, and the day's events had wore her out. And even though she tried to fight it, sleep won out, overcoming her. She was out cold.
What seemed like years later, Maddy woke to the sound of the door being unlocked. Groggy, she opened one eye. Waldo set down a tray of food onto the floor. "I'm sorry," he whispered.
Maddy watched him walk out of the room, pulling the door shut behind him. She listened for the click of the lock, but it never came.
Taylor inwardly groaned. Once again, he couldn't sleep. He felt like tossing and turning, but decided better of it. Beside him, Laura was in a deep sleep. He watched her chest rise and fall with her deep, heavy breathing, thankful she finally fell asleep. Looking back on it, he realized he hasn't slept since Maddy disappeared, and this was the first Laura's eyes closed.
Taylor kissed two of his fingers, and gently placed them on his wife's lips. Then he quickly and quietly got out of bed. He padded down the stairs in his bare feet, and carefully tip-toed into the living room, so as not to disturb his father, who was sleeping in the guest room just down the hall.
Last night, both his parents stayed over, offering moral support. Tonight, however, his mother was at home. She put up a fight, at first, but Taylor insisted she be there for Kaitlyn. Lord knew his mother needed the distraction, and his niece needed all the love she could get right now. It's not that Isaac and Rebecca don't love her, they're just too caught up in their own problems right now.
He, by no means, trivialized what his older brother and sister-in-law were going through. He didn't pretend to understand the strain on their marriage when he didn't understand the factors surrounding it. But, yet, Taylor wanted desperately to grab both of them by the shoulders and shake them, hard. Didn't they realize how lucky they were? They knew where Kaitlyn was. They knew she was safe. For all Taylor knew, Madeline was...
Stop it! Don't think like that! he chided himself. However, the words came too late to stop the wave of nausea from crashing down on top of him, and his legs from buckling underneath him. He closed his eyes and took three, deep breaths before turning on the lamp that sat on the end table next to the couch. He was surprised to find his father sitting there, with his head in his hands.
"Dad?"
"Taylor." Walker looked up. His red, puffy eyes served as an indication that he had been crying. He sighed. "I couldn't sleep."
He sat down next to his father. "That's something I'm all too familiar with. I haven't slept since... well..." Taylor couldn't bring himself to say the words. "You know..."
Walker nodded his head. "You really should try to get some sleep, though, Tay. You need to be strong for Maddy."
"Strong for Maddy? How the hell can I be strong for her when I don't even know where she is?"
"Son, you and Maddy have a special connection. She can feel your presence, even when you're apart."
"Dad, don't take this the wrong way, but that has to be the BIGGEST bunch of total and utter BULLSHIT I've ever heard."
"Taylor..."
"No, I mean, sure, all that support crap sounds good on paper. But try to actually apply it. Be me for a few hours. You'll quickly see that it's all a crock."
"I don't think, not for a second, that I know what you're going through. I can't even IMAGINE what it's like."
"It's hell."
"Well, just remember, you're not in this hell alone. Laura needs you now, and you need her, too."
"I know." Taylor rested his elbows on his knees, and his head in his hands. "I know," he whispered.
Walker gently rubbed his son's back. A wave of mixed emotions flowed over him. His heart went out to his son. No parent should have to suffer through this. But, in a sick and twisted way, he didn't want to stop the tiny pang of relief running through his body. Was it so wrong to be relieved, happy even, that he wasn't in Taylor's shoes?
The grandfather clock in the foyer chimed for the new hour, and Taylor looked up. "It's almost time for Jenn's feeding. I'm gonna go prepare her bottle, so Laura can rest." He stood up and walked into the kitchen. He pulled a bottle of breast milk out of the refrigerator. He filled the pot sitting on the stove with water, and turned on the burner, placing the bottle in the pot.
"How is Laura handling all this? I mean, she holding up okay? That's good that she's able to get some sleep, though." Walker sat down at the kitchen table.
Taylor sat down across from his father. "She's sleeping because she's so drained. Worrying about Maddy and blaming Rick sucked all the life out of her."
"I take it she's still angry at him, then."
Taylor snorted. "Angry is putting it mildly."
"How are you handling it, his being here, that is?"
He shrugged. "Okay, I guess. Just confused as all hell."
"It's awkward, I know."
"I wanna blame him, too, Dad. That would probably make this easier. But I can't. Maybe if he wasn't such a nice guy..." Taylor shook his head. "I mean, he helped AJ with her suit, he was there for Zac, physically, when we couldn't be, and he's only here in Tulsa to help us find Maddy."
Walker became concerned about the expression on his son's face. "Who are you trying to convince here? Me or yourself? 'Cause you know, Taylor, I won't think any less of you if you hate the guy."
"I'm not convincing myself. I'm REMINDING myself. Believe me, Dad, if it was just any ordinary day of the week, and Rick showed up, looking to be a part of Madeline's life, it's pretty safe to say I wouldn't hesitate to get the baseball bat from the closet, and beat him senseless with it. But that's not why he's here, so I have to thank him."
"Thank him?" Walker raised an eyebrow, wondering if Taylor had truly gone off the deep end with grief. To him, it seemed more than odd to want to thank the man partly responsible for your daughter's kidnapping.
"Yeah, Dad. Thank him. Not only did he conceive Madeline, but he left Laura alone. And I've had the pleasure of raising her daughter with her."
"Have, Taylor. HAVE. It's not over yet. You HAVE the pleasure of raising Madeline." He reached across the table, and squeezed his son's hand. "You know, to be honest with you, you're handling this whole thing with Rick much better than I ever would have. I'm proud of you."
Taylor shrugged. "It's no big deal, really. When I first found out that he was involved in this, that the kidnappers called him, I wanted to hit him so bad and so hard. I wanted him to hurt, like I'm hurting. But then, I remembered something..."
"What did you remember?"
"When the cops asked if anyone got in touch with Laura and I about a ransom, I blamed MYSELF for all this. I thought this was some sick bastard's way of making a fast buck, and if Laura had married someone who didn't have his own business and didn't have a high profile, that Maddy would be safe right now. Obviously, that's not true. Rick's probably doing the same thing I did. I KNOW he's blaming himself, and I'm not going to throw anymore on him, especially when it's not his fault." Taylor stood up, and turned the burner off on the stove. He checked the temperature of the milk in the bottle. Deciding it was satisfactory, he told his father, "I'm gonna go feed Jenn, so Laura can sleep." He frowned at his father's disheveled appearance. "You should get some sleep, too. You look like hell, Dad." The corners of his mouth turned up.
Walker smiled, as well. "I do, don't I?" He stood up and patted his son on the back. "You should take you're own advice, you know."
He nodded his head. "I will. See you in the morning."
"See you in the morning. And Taylor?"
"Yeah, Dad?"
"I love you."
Taylor smiled. "I love you, too."
Taylor quietly pushed open the door to his daughter's room, and tip-toed in. He peered into the crib, and smiled at his daughter, who was happily waving her arms and kicking her legs. He felt a wave of warmth, love, and pride flow through him. Jennifer Rose Hanson had to be the most amazing and beautiful creature in the world. And to think, he helped create her.
"Hey there, Pumpkin," he whispered, carefully picking her up. She looked at Taylor, gurgled, and smiled. "So, which are you happier to see, me or the bottle?" he asked, smiling wide.
Slowly and carefully, he sat down in the rocking chair that looked out the window. He placed the bottle in Jenn's mouth, and gently rocked the chair.
Taylor smiled, remembering the first time in his adult life that he did this. It was in the hospital, just after the birth of his niece, Kaitlyn. He rocked her to sleep. That afternoon made him realize how much he wanted Laura and Madeline in his life, how they made him whole.
Madeline... He felt the tears in his eyes, but blinked them back. There was something about her... The moment he had laid eyes on her, she had completely captured his heart. It was amazing. He felt so close to Maddy, and loved her so much, like she was his own.
Taylor shook his head slightly, and looked back down at his daughter, who had finished half the bottle already. Just after Jennifer was born, everyone -- his mother, father, Isaac, Rebecca, the nurses in the hospital -- told him to be sure to maintain eye contact when feeding her. As if he could take his eyes off her!
But he also remembered something else his father told him. He said that some of his most precious memories of his children as babies included late night and early morning feedings. It was a time when he could talk to them, promise to love, protect, and give them everything possible. It was a bonding moment Walker held dear to his heart.
Maybe that's why Taylor thought it was so important to write a lullaby for Madeline. He enjoyed writing and singing lullabies for his brother and sisters so much, how could he not write one for his own daughter? But Madeline insisted he sing the song her mother sang to her. 'Daddy,' she insisted. 'It doesn't matter what you sing, as long as you sing to me. So, please, sing me my favorite song.' How could he resist that sweet, beautiful smile?
And that's why Taylor is humming the familiar tune as he feeds Jenn. But it's not the same unless he sings it, so, softly he sings the lullaby to his baby girl.
"I'll be your eyes until you can see... I'll be your voice until you can speak... In this land of strangers I'll be the one... To love and protect you, guide and respect you..."
Jenn finished the bottle as her eyelids became heavy. Carefully, Taylor stood up, placing a cloth over his left shoulder, and resting his daughter's head on it. He walked around the room as he rubbed her back, burping her.
"Sleep, baby, sleep in an ocean of love... No way of knowing what you're thinking of... Close to the heart, that's where you belong... You're part of my spirit, part of my song..."
Taylor slowed down his pace. He turned his head to look at Jenn. Her eyes were shut and her breathing was deep and even. He felt a tear fall from his right eye, and wiped it on his right shoulder. He sighed and looked out the window, up at the stars.
"Have you come to show me what love's all about... To lift up my faith higher than doubt..."
Carefully, quietly, gently, Taylor walked over to the crib, lowering Jenn into it on her back. As he rubbed her stomach, softly and gently, he squeezed his eyes shut, allowing the tears to fall. His breathing was uneven and his voice shaky, but he was determined to finish the song, just like he did every night for Madeline.
"In my arms you will be... In my arms you will be... In my arms you will be... In my arms you will be... Forever home..."
Taylor brought his hand from his daughter's belly up to his mouth. He kissed two fingertips, and gently placed them on Jenn's nose. "I love you, Pumpkin," he whispered. Taylor walked over to the rocking chair, sat down, and slowly began to rock back and forth. He looked out at the stars which his oldest daughter always tried to count. "I love you, Madeline," he whispered.
Rebecca sat up and stretched. Her body ached from sleeping on the bathroom's cold, title floor. She stood, and stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her tear-stained face was pale, and there were bags under her eyes, which were also red and puffy from crying. "Rebecca Hanson, pull yourself together," she ordered her reflection. "You gotta pull this marriage out of the shitter, before Isaac flushes it."
She ran her fingers through her knotted hair. Could she blame her husband, though? The answer is no. She kept secrets from him, lied to him, and overall wasn't very honest. But the question is why? What was she hoping to gain? She kept digging down deep inside, but came up empty-handed every time. "Damn it, Rebecca. You better figure out what the fuck is wrong with you," she told herself.
Becca unlocked and opened the bathroom door. What she saw went straight to her heart. Sitting in the hallway, wrapped in a blanket, sleeping, was Isaac. His face was pale and tear-stained, and Becca had to stifle a sob at the sight of her husband. She had missed him so much, and the way things used to be. The corners of her mouth turned up in a soft smile, remembering how something so simple as his touch could send chills throughout her body. Longing to feel that again, Rebecca opened the blanket and her husband's arms. She slipped inside, rested her head against his chest, and closed her eyes, which were rapidly filling with tears yet again.
Isaac's heart stopped beating as he felt his wife settle in his arms, covering them with the blanket. This was the woman he knew, loved, and married. And here she was, back in his arms. He tightened his embrace, hoping to keep her from evaporating into thin air.
"I'm sorry if I woke you," Becca whispered.
"You didn't. I heard the door open," he told her, burying his face in her hair.
She picked her head up off of Isaac's chest, and looked into his soft, brown eyes. "I'm sorry... about before..." she whispered.
"I know you are. I'm sorry, too." He kissed the top of her head.
"For what?" As far as Becca was concerned, her husband had NOTHING to be sorry for.
"I was being selfish, only thinking of myself. I was so hurt you didn't tell me about the miscarriage, it never occurred to me you'd feel responsible for it. I was being insensitive, and I'm sorry. Do you forgive me?" His eyes were filled with remorse.
"God, Isaac..." Becca gently traced his jawline with her finger. "Of course I forgive you. I just don't know how I could possibly ask you to forgive me. God, I THREW something. I... I don't know what got a hold of me..." Her eyes brimmed with tears.
"It's okay." His voice was soft as he stroked her hair. "You were holding everything in, and it built up. It had to get out somehow."
"Yeah... but... but I THREW something. I never did that before, and it scares me." A few tears spilled down her cheeks. "What if... what if Kaitlyn had been here?"
"But she wasn't."
"She could have been."
"Yeah, but she wasn't. Instead of dwelling on that, we should worry about us, and how we're going to fix what's going on between us."
Becca exhaled slowly. "I... I thought..." She sighed. "I thought you'd be mad at me for losing our baby. I'm sorry."
"Omigod! Bec, how could you EVER think I'd be mad at you? Honey, it's not your fault! I know it seems... I don't know... hollow... but really, it's a natural thing. It happens all the time. Sweetie, you're not the first woman to have a miscarriage, and you most certainly won't be the last."
"I... I guess. But still, I don't understand... What did I do..." Becca squeezed her eyes shut as they filled with tears again.
"Nothing. You did nothing wrong. Right now just wasn't our time to have another baby, that's all."
"Would you like to have another one?" Her voice is soft, so soft Isaac almost doesn't hear her.
He thinks it over for a moment. His hands finds his wife's, and he laces their fingers together. "Yes. I would love nothing more than to have another baby with you. But..." He swallowed the lump forming in his throat. "But... I think we need to straighten out what's going on between us. I don't think we should bring a baby into this house if we're both not entirely happy."
"You're right. So... how do we fix this?"
Isaac sighed. "One step at a time. We need to put everything between us out in the open. So, Bec, whenever you're ready, little by little, tell me what's on your mind. Just... please, talk to me. Don't EVER feel you can't tell me ANYTHING." He gently kissed her forehead. "I love you, Rebecca. And I'm always here. I'm not letting go of you."
"Isaac?" She felt the weight begin to lift off her shoulders, knowing that the first step would have to be hers, and what it has to be.
"Mmm..."
"I... I have an appointment tomorrow. Will... will you take me?"
He gently nodded his head. "Of course. Of course I'll take you." His right hand caressed his wife's cheek. "Is there anything else?" Ike didn't want to press or rush her into something she wasn't ready for, but he did want her to know that she meant the world to him, and he'd do anything she asked.
"Yeah. Could you... could you spend the night here?" Her voice was small and child-like. The aching in her heart was reflected in her hazel eyes. She couldn't make it another night without her husband by her side.
A few tears that had been building up in Isaac's eyes rolled down his cheeks. He closed them, took a deep breath, and then slowly opened them. Rebecca looked straight into his eyes, begging him with hers. He didn't have to think twice as he ran his fingers through his wife's hair. "I'll stay."