"What about this?"
"Ike, hang that UGLY thing back on the rack right now. Or better yet, burn it. I think I got a match in my purse..." I began to rummage through my purse for the book of matches I always carry with me.
"All right, all right," Ike said, hanging the ugly jumper on the rack. "See? I told you I'm no good at this. Man, girls are just too hard to shop for. I could buy Mackie ANYTHING and he wouldn't care. As it is, the boy hardly ever matches. How about this?"
"Sweetie," I said, taking the overalls from him and putting them back on the rack, "that's too small."
"No, it's not. That's about Zoe's size."
"Sure, for the next month or so. Remember, she's gonna grow."
Ike threw up his hands in exasperation. "I give up! Everything is either too ugly or too small." He sighed. "Now what?"
"We go to another store." I took his hand and led him out of the toddler department of JC Penny's.
"Here? You want me to get something for Zoe here?" Ike asked in disbelief as we entered Baby Gap.
"Why not? They have cute, stylish clothes."
"Yeah, well, don't take this the wrong way. I love Zoe and would spend any amount of money on her, but it seems pretty stupid to spend $30 on a shirt for her that will only end up with grape juice on it."
"Well, nobody said you couldnt buy her nice clothes for church or something. Unless, of course, your mom said she needed play clothes."
"She didn't specify. She just said clothes."
"Well, then, get her something nice. And then some of her nice clothes at home that are shot can be her play clothes," I explained matter-of-factly.
Ike turned to me with one eyebrow raised. "Ya know, for an only child, you sure do know a lot about buying clothes for kids."
"I think it's a female thing."
"Shh!" Ike leaned in towards me.
"What?"
"I think I hear your biological clock ticking."
"You ass!" I playfully swatted his arm.
"Hey!" Ike rubber his upper arm.
"Quit goofing around and find something for Zoe."
"Yes, ma'am." I was met with a mock salute from Ike.
"Are you SURE Zoe will like what I got her?"
"Yes. For the MILLIONTH TIME, Zoe WILL like it. What's not to like? It's a cute outfit," I said as Ike and I walked into Record Town.
"You don't think it's too much?"
"No, Ike. It's not too much for a four-year-old. Now will you relax? You're making me crazy!"
"Okay. Okay. Sorry."
"Don't sweat it," I said as I made my way to the Pop/Rock section of the store.
Call me weird, but I love to browse though the CDs from A to Z. Today though, I didn't get past A. I came across a CD that made my heart ache. It's my mom's favorite and mine, too. I often borrowed it. I tried to take it to Tulsa with me, but Mom discovered it missing and demanded it back.
I picked up Air Supply's Greatest Hits, and flipped it over, scanning the titles of the familiar songs. There's not one song on this CD that doesn't express an emotion I've felt at one point in time.
The title of the month for January is "Making Love Out of Nothing at All." That's exactly what I did last night. In my mind, I know Ike was just trying to comfort me 'cause I was hysterical crying. But in my heart, I wanted there to be more to it. I never realized how jealous of Katia I was until last night. But as my eyes glaze over at the sight of the CD, I realize it's the words to another song that haunt me right now.
Here I am... Playing with those memories again... And just when I thought time had set me free... Those thoughts of you keep taunting me...
"Hey, Bec, are you okay?" Ike asked as he approached me.
"Yeah, I'm fine," I sniffed.
"Are you sure? You don't look fine."
"Yeah... I'm... I'm sure."
"You don't sound sure, either."
"Well, I am," I snapped.
"Hey! There's no reason to get nasty with me! Excuse me for being concerned."
So there's no sense pretending... My heart, it's not mending...
"Ike... Ike, I'm sorry. And you're right. I'm not fine."
"Does it have anything to do with that?" he asked, pointing to the CD. "You're looking at it like it's a door to your past, or something."
Oh, Baby, those memories come crashing through... And I just can't go on without you...
"Sorta." I smiled weakly. "My mom has this CD..." My voice trailed off.
"Aww, Bec, it never occurred to me that you might get homesick."
"It never occurred to me, either. But that was before the sub-zero temperature hit," I lied.
A soft laugh escaped Ike's lips. "Bec, it's not THAT cold." He paused. "So, if it's not the homesickness, what is it then? Is there anything I can do?"
I've done everything I can to ease the pain... But only you can stop the rain...
I swallowed hard. "Yeah, there is. Take me home, please."
Ike took the CD from me and put it back on the rack. "Are you feeling all right?" He placed one hand on the back of my neck and the other on my forehead. "Hmm... no fever, but you're lookin' a little pale."
"I'm okay. Really," I assured him. "I just wanna go home and call my mom."
"Then let's go."
We left Record Town. Not more than two stores away, Ike stopped dead in his tracks. "Damn!"
"What?"
"You're gonna kill me, Bec."
"What is it?"
"I left Zoe's present in Record Town."
I rolled my eyes. "Good one."
"I guess I was so concerned about you, I got distracted and forgot it." He smiled. "Look, you stay here and sit. I'll be right back."
Reluctantly, I sat down on the bench. "All right."
"I'll be right back. Promise." Ike gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and headed off to Record Town.
I just can't live without you... I miss everything about you...
Ten minutes later, Ike reappeared. "What took you so long?" I asked. "Get lost, or something?" I teased.
"No, smarty. Someone gave the bag to the register. There was a line, so I had to wait."
"You got lucky. Someone could've taken off with it."
"Yeah, but it wouldn't have been the end of the world, either. Come on, let's get you home."
So we left the mall through JC Penny's and headed towards Ike's car - he with his hands full of our bags, and me with a heavy heart.