The opening notes of the wedding march filled the church. Arm-in-arm, Taylor and Laura walked down the aisle as husband and wife. Nikki and I followed Pam and Ike towards the back of the church. As we walked down the aisle, I scanned the "bride's side" for the brunette. My efforts remained fruitless, as she was nowhere to be seen. Then again, it was a full house. It's possible she was just hidden in the crowd.
Surprisingly, the cermony went off without a hitch. Security managed to keep the reporters from entering. And even though Madeline slapped John across the face just before the beginning of the ceremony, the two somehow lived to see the end of it.
I stood between Nikki and Ike at the back of the church as all the guests filed out, congratulating Taylor and Laura on the way. "Oh, Zac! I guess it's just a matter of time before I see another great-nephew of mine get married! Where's YOUR beautiful girlfriend?" The short, old, greying woman beamed with happiness.
I stood there, completely dumbfounded. For the life of me, I couldn't place a name with the face. I felt like a fool. But slowly, it began to dawn on me. The last time I had seen this woman was at Ike's wedding. Now, I was seeing her for the second time and Taylor's. However, something told me I'd be attending her funeral before actually making it to the alter.
"I... I don't have..." I, for whatever reason, began to explain to this nameless relative.
"Honey, leave him alone. Let him enjoy the bachelor life. God knows it's the best," a man, whom I can only assume to be my great-uncle, said to the alleged aunt. Then he turned to me. "Don't let just anyone put the ol' ball and chain on ya. They don't look the same in thirty years or so. Make sure she's got that special something." With that, he winked at me and then escorted his wife out of the church.
"Who the hell was that?" I asked Ike.
He looked in the direction I was pointing. "Oh, that Aunt Doris and Uncle Charlie. They're Mom's aunt and uncle. You won't see them again unless someone either gets married, is born, or dies."
"I don't remember seeing them at Kaitlyn's christening."
"Couldn't make it. Uncle Charile was having his gall bladder removed."
I stifled a laugh.
"So, have you seen the brunette?"
I shook my head. "No. Have you?"
"Nope. And I haven't seen her come through here either," was Ike's reply.
After all the guests had left the church, we - bride, groom, bridal party, and groomsmen - made our way to the front of the church so we could have our picture taken a million times. I was pleased with the photographer's ability to get this done so quickly. I also loved that he was silent, other than when he told us where to stand. Thanks to the many overly-caffinated photographers I've had to deal with during my pre-teen years, I'm undergoing therapy over this whole 'love the camera' situation. I mean, you can love the camera, just don't LOVE the camera. Apparently, no one told the photographers that.
"Why don't you ask Laura who she is?" Ike asked me as the photographer directed him, Tay, and I where to stand for our picture.
"Ask Laura who who is?" inquired Mr. Nosey, aka my brother Taylor.
"This brunette Zac was drooling over during rehearsal yesterday," Ike answered for me. What? Can't I speak for myself?
"I tried, but she was gone when I asked. Laura didn't know who I was talking about," I explained to older brother number one.
"Zac! Look!"
I looked in the direction Ike was pointing. Standing in the back of the church was the brunette. Instead of an oversized sweatshirt and jeans, she was wearing a plum dress with a rather plunging neckline and daringly short in length. I picked up a hand in order to wave and catch her attention. But before I could wiggle my fingers, she slipped out the door.