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On the Cover of the Rolling Stone
Well we are big rock singers,
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We walked into one of the conference rooms on the second floor to find it had been transformed into a Moroccan paradise. There were heavy velvet curtains and tapestries covering all the walls, enormous rugs were covering the entire floor and a low table covered with candles and plates sat in the middle of the room, surrounded by large and comfortable looking pillows. As the guys settled around the table, I sat down on a stool over behind one of the cameramen. I smiled as the fussing over the guys began. As soon as they were seated in the appropriate positions, each guy had a mic threaded up through their clothing. A makeup artist descended on each of the guys and a hairdresser started messing with their hair. I watched as Zac rolled his eyes in complete frustration. This was his least favorite part of being famous. I could here John talking to the guys, but couldn't actually understand a word he was saying. He was probably going over some of the questions he was going to ask.
Suddenly, I felt someone grab onto the back of my shirt and stick their hand up it. “Hey! What are you doing?” I said jumping off the stool I had been perched on.
“Mr. Norris told us to get you ready as well.” The sound guy said holding a cordless mic in front of him. “He wants you to eat with them, be part of the interview. Didn't anyone tell you?”
“No.” I said turning and noticing all four of the occupants of the table laughing at me. “You don't want me in the interview do you?”
“Well, yeah.” John said. “When I spoke to Ashley yesterday about this interview, I told him we may want some other perspectives from inside Camp Hanson and he suggested you...”
“Oh, Ashley suggested me?” I asked as the sound guy threaded the mic through my shirt. Really, I didn't think the mic needed to be under my bra. Zac and Ike were practically in hysterics watching me. Ashley was so going down for this. “Hey, hey!! Do you mind?”
“Hey listen,” the sound guy said as I pushed him away, “I'm just trying to mic you and you won't stop wiggling. Do you think I enjoy this?”
“Yes, yes I do.” I said as he clipped the white mic to my t-shirt. “What a pervert.” I said as I sat down next to Zac. It was then I noticed, the table was indeed set for five. Oh how quaint. A party of five. “So, explain to me again why I'm being forced to do this. And why I'm getting felt up in the process...”
“Well, we just wanted to have someone who has been with them from the beginning, here to bounce some comments off of and also to show how all encompassing the sort of fame they have achieved effects the lives of those around them. The getting felt up is a bonus.” John explained as enormous plates of Moroccan food were placed before us. “You won't be featured at all, you're just a sounding board. And really, I've never interviewed these guys without a family member within reach... And I guess you are as close to family as they have on this tour.”
“Okay, I guess.” I said, shooting a look that I hope took ten years off of each of their lives at them. They each just smiled at me as they continued to eat. Someone was going to be made to pay for this. Really. I wasn't kidding. We ate in silence for about 5 minutes, which is a rarity at any Hanson family meal. Maybe they weren't as oblivious of the cameras as I thought. The door to the conference room opened and I turned to see who it was. Ashley... He looked at me and almost burst out laughing. Oh, yeah. He was going down. I'm not quite sure how, but he was going down.
John turned and noticed Ashley. John said something to the lead camera guy, then turned back to us sitting at the table. “Shall we get started?” John asked. All three guys nodded. “Okay, first off I think we'll ask a few technical questions. Does that sound alright to you?” Each of the guys nodded in agreement. “Okay, as your writing a song, do you write it with a specific voice in mind as the lead? In interviews, you are always saying over and over that Taylor isn't the lead singer, but from the outside...”
“I don't think that we really have a specific voice in mind as we're writing a song...” Isaac began a far off look on his face. Oh God, this was about to become a major ramble.
“Yeah,” Zac interrupted. He had a vaguely unpleasant look on his face. I was actually a little scared about what was about to come out of his mouth. “When we begin to write a new song, we don't know Taylor is going to sing lead...on every single song. There's always a glimmer of hope that I'll have a line or two.”
“I think it all just plays it out in the studio.” Taylor said pointedly ignoring Zac’s comment. “Whoever's voice really suits the song sings it.”
“So, as you are writing songs for the next album, are you thinking in terms of who you want to collaborate with?” John asked. “What artists would you really like to collaborate with?”
“Um, as we're writing are we thinking about who we want to collaborate with?” Taylor repeated. It is one of his on the edge of annoying habits. I mean, strictly speaking it isn't annoying, but it could be. “No, I don't think we're thinking about who we can collaborate with on each particular song. Every time we have a guest artist on a song, it's just a fortuitous accident. And, so far, we've gotten a chance to collaborate with some fairly brilliant artists… Rose Stone, Jonny Lang, John Popper, Bob Weir. In the future? It would be great to collaborate with Billy Joel… we've admired his music for a long time.”
“I'd like to collaborate with Jonny Lang again.” Isaac said cutting off Taylor as he was just about to start a new list. “Jonny is simply amazing to watch. His playing is so effortless...”
“I want to collaborate with Britney Spears.” Zac said shooting me a lecherous look. My skirt was way too short for me to be sitting on the floor cross legged and yet, I was. He winked at me. “If you know what I mean… Hey, Cleo... Didn't you try out for a Britney video shoot once...”
“Shut up, Zac.” I said under my breath.
“Very good.” John said, ignoring mine and Zac's exchange. “Have you ever had a truly negative experience while working with another artist or songwriter? Is it more stressful to write an album by yourselves or with other songwriters?”
“I don't think there's ever been a truly negative experience.” Taylor said his sticky fingers waving through the air. He really needed to not talk with his hands if he was going to eat with them and well, there were no utensils. This was a true Moroccan meal.
“We've always written songs by ourselves whenever the inspiration came...” Isaac said cutting Taylor off.
“We mostly write with each other.” Taylor said joining in the interrupting game. This is one of their favorite pastimes. “We really only worked with co-writers on Middle of Nowhere.”
“I think the only negative thing about having co-writers is that we had to write songs at specific times.” Isaac said shrugging his shoulders. “Really, all that means, is even if we had no ideas at all, we still had to work on a song for this amount of time. And really that ended up not being a negative since it taught us quite a bit about discipline...”
“Something we can all use a lot more of.” Taylor said nodding his head in agreement. “The co-writers were all professionals who really helped us a lot.”
“It was really only stressful when we were all frustrated that we had no ideas.” Ike finished.
“So, nothing really scandalous?” John asked.
“One nasty experience with another artist was during our tour for This Time Around.” Zac began, both Tay and Ike got these looks of “oh no what is he going to say” on their faces. “I don't know if you remember this, but at that time MTV had hired Mandy Moore as a VJ, and for some unknown reason, wherever we played MTV sent Mandy Moore.”
“Yeah, sure, I remember that.” John said nodding in agreement.
“Well, she got some strange idea that we actually enjoyed her company and hung around us at every show.” Zac said shaking his head. “She just didn't seem to get the message that we thought she was a complete idiot and wanted her to leave us alone. And yes, that is on the record.”
“And then, there were all the rumors about Mandy and Tay dating.” I said regretting immediately that I had said anything at all. “Which really, really pissed off Taylors actual girlfriend.”
“Kate was really unstable.” Zac said laughing at me. I'm sure my face was pulled up into a mask of horror. “She scared me.”
“She wasn't that bad...” Taylor said.
“Tay, she was psychotic.” Ike said. Our eyes met across the table and I saw something in his eyes I wasn't prepared for. Ike was glaring at me with something akin to hatred. My sweet, gentle, loving Ike looked like he could rip my head off at any moment.
“I remember her. She was a little bit scary. Something in her eyes wasn't right.” John said interrupting before an all out argument could be initiated. “Okay, next question, does all the attention to your looks, haircuts, voice changes, etc. bother you? Does it bug you that because you are considered to be handsome, young men, the music is sometimes the secondary focus?
“It is a bit disappointing that our music seems to take a back seat at times to our appearance,” Taylor said shrugging. Really I knew how much it bothered all three of them, but I know for a fact they would never admit it. “But we've changed so much in front of the public that it sort of makes sense that it comes first to the media.”
“Yeah, I mean…” Ike began. “We try to keep the focus on the music, but there's not much you can do about the way people see you. I suppose we could wear bags over our heads if it becomes too much of a problem…kinda like saying, "Don't look at me, just listen to the music!" But I don't want to be considered a freak.”
“Uh, Ike...” Zac interjected. “You are a freak...”
“As long as you listen to the music while you're observing the changes, it's fine by us.” Taylor said talking over Zac. Ah yes, the I-can-talk-louder-than-my-brother ploy. This tactic is why the Hanson household never has (and most likely never will) be quiet.
“I don't really think I'm a 'handsome young man'.” Zac said. I looked over at him and noticed that he had hardly touched his food. “I wouldn't consider any of as good looking at all... I mean, look at the size of Taylors head...”
“Zac, be nice.” I whispered under my breath. He looked at me and raised his hands as if he had no clue what I was even talking about. One of the guys (actually, I recognized him as John's personal assistant) from MTV came over and began to talk to John, so I took the opportunity to talk with Zac. “Zac are you feeling okay?”
“Actually, I feel really nauseated.” He whispered in my ear. “I kinda feel like I did yesterday morning....”
“Do you need to leave?” I asked.
“No, I’ll be alright.” He said pushing his plate away from him. He picked up his glass of water and took a large drink. He was really pale. “I think I’ll live...”
“Well, if you need to leave...” I said putting my hand on his forehead. He was really warm. In fact, he was so warm I was more than a little worried. This moment was caught on camera and was also included in the special that aired on MTV, the voice over for the special used it to illustrate that I had been aware of Zac’s illness and did nothing about it. My concern for Zac damned me a slacker. “Zac, maybe you should go back to the room and lay down. I could come with you...”
“No way,” Zac said taking my hand and squeezing. “There is no way on earth I would miss the look of panic on your face every time the camera focuses on you.”
“Ha ha!” I said as John turned back towards the table.
“Sorry about that. Let's continue. Well, which is more important: critical acclaim or record sales?” John asked, as his assistant walked away.
“Although selling records is nice, having critical acclaim is strangely satisfying.” Isaac said. “The fact that reviewers, who are for the most part middle-aged men who listen to every new album, like your album and praise it is always surprising, but as I already said very satisfying. It's a great feeling knowing people who aren't die hard fans really like the album.”
“Critical acclaim is probably more important to us.” Taylor said his hands waving over the table. “It's like getting respect from people who are in the business and know the hardships of making the album and how hard it is. Making an album and releasing it to the masses is a lot like bearing your soul. A piece of you is in every song, every note, every lyric. Having people appreciate the sacrifices made and say that they like it really means a lot.”
“No, your both wrong, it's all about selling the records.” Zac said, running his hands through his long hair. I noticed he was shivering, but that there were beads of sweat around his hairline. Tomorrow he was going to the doctor, even if I had to drag him by that beautiful long hair.
“Record sales are nice.” Taylor agreed.
“Yeah, sales are very satisfying as well...” Ike agreed. “I mean, how good does it make you feel to know 12 million people liked your album well enough to go out and buy it? Well enough to go out and plop down 20 bucks just to hear you sing?
“Exactly. Who wants some old guys approval?” Zac asked in all seriousness. “What does he know about our music? What do you know about music, John? Do you 'acclaim' our record?”
“Actually, I do.” John said. “I really enjoyed both Middle of Nowhere and This Time Around. And this new album is one of my favorites so far this year. But I know not everyone in the press feels the same. What's the worst experience you've had with the press, as far as rumors/nasty comments are concerned? And does the hype surrounding you affect your daily lives?
“There are all sorts of rumors…” Ike began.
“There will always be rumors.” Taylor interjected.
“I remember one saying Taylor had some sort of tumor on his vocal cords and had to undergo surgery.” Ike continued. He basically just ignored Taylor. “And there was the one that we killed Zac. Look at him… does it look like we could kill him?”
“Yes, I am invincible.” Zac said in a loud voice.
“The major rumor that we have girlfriends has always been talked about.” Taylor said cutting off Zac this time. “There's a new girl every week it seems. I think now I'm seeing some girl named Rachael from Texas. Cleo, isn't that what you read on the net the other day?”
“Uh, yeah.” I said glaringly aware the camera had changed it's focus from Zac to me. “The newest one though is that you and I are an item.”
“Yeah, I made a joking comment yesterday and well, it seems Cleo and I are now destined to get married...” Taylor began.
“Well, my girlfriend in Ireland heard my comment about being in love with someone in Ireland and is now traveling halfway around the world to talk about it.” Ike said a look of panic on his face.
“Now that is scary...” Taylor began.
“Let me give you the short answer.” Zac said cutting Taylor off before he began a long, pointless ramble. “Rumors don't really affect the way we live. I mean, they're rumors, which means not true. Why should I let something that isn't true run my life?”
“So, on your current tour, you've really been playing a combination of venue types.” John said. “Which type of venue do you most enjoy playing? Small intimate venues or arenas? Do you think sometimes maybe the smaller venues aren't prepared for the hysteria of your fans?”
“The This Time Around tour was really fun…” Taylor said, “it's great to do shows where you can look out into the audience and see all their faces. Larger venues just don't have that intimacy. In the grass areas, the people sitting back there can't even make out the people on stage.”
“Yeah and many of the smaller venues have awesome acoustics…” Ike said. “And the fan response is great. You can point out every person who doesn't wave their arms or jump up and down.”
“Personally,” Taylor said. “I think that it's semi-pointless to play a show where people can only see three blobs of color up on the stage. It isn't fair to you or the fans.”
“But to be perfectly honest,” Zac said. “Some of the smaller venues weren't ready for us at all. We had fans jump onstage and attack Tay at three different concerts. Too bad they didn't get him…”
“Okay, here is a question that I was given by our producers daughter.” John said laughing. “Do you ever read any of the masses of fan fiction on the web? And what do you honestly think of it?”
“What do we honestly think of fan fiction?” Taylor repeated. I take it back, it was no longer verging on annoying. It was annoying. “Uh, this is a hard question...”
“I think the fact people are actually writing these stories about us is a bit surreal.” Isaac said laughing. “I mean… people write themselves in these fantasy romances where we fall madly in love with them and stuff… some of it is hilarious.”
“And some of it is truly disturbing. I mean, do I look like a bisexual vampire?” Taylor said. “But there are also people who really take it seriously and are good writers. It can be a real art form… a lot of non-teenies write some really good things.”
“Um, no,” Zac said shaking his head. “You guys don't have too much time on your hands…”
“Okay, that was the last question.” John said. He reached across the table and shook hands with each of the guys. “Really that was great.”
“Hey guys.” Ashley said as he wandered over to the table. The sound guys descended and began to remove the microphones. As the sound guy approached me I reached up my shirt and ripped the mic out. He was not sticking his hands back up my shirt. “Hey, do you want to move downstairs for the coming storm or do you want to stay in the suite?”
“We could stay on the 12th floor during a hurricane?” I asked pointedly shooting dirty looks his way.
“Yeah, the manager said he would come up and lower these steel blinds to protect you from flying debris and water.” Ashley said as we all trooped out of the room towards the elevators. “We're going to go to a grocery store now and pick up some supplies and food. ‘Cause once the electricity goes out, you're stuck up there....”
“We'll be stuck on the 12th floor of a building?” I asked not at all sure I liked the idea of hanging out stranded on the top floor of a building. Especially with all the weirdness going on with the guys. I mean, one of them (or even me) could go insane and we'd have a mass murder/suicide on our hands. “I don't know if I like that idea....”
“Come on Cleo.” Zac said jumping on my back. I wasn't ready for him so we both tumbled to the ground. “Come on, you know you want to stay upstairs with us...”
“Zac, get off me.” I said as I wiggled out from under him. “And why would I want to do that?”
“Yeah, stay upstairs with us, it'll be fun...” Taylor began.
“Because you love us...” Zac said pinning me to the ground. “Or at least some of us...” He whispered into my ear.
“Come on Zac, get off Cleo.” Taylor said.
“I guess I could say the same to you.” Ike said glaring at Taylor. “Cleo, do what you want... Stay where you think you need to...”