It was 4:02 p.m. EST on Sunday, March 28th, 1999, when I visited my guestbook and found the following anonymous message.
i don't know how any decent person would actually want to read some of your stories. maybe you should re think your morals and have a little respect towards hanson and their innocence.
The first thing that came to mind after reading this was, "Who the fuck does this bitch think she is?" Then, after realizing that it was anonymous, I considered what she was saying. She (Assumption alert... I'm saying she because the petty, spiteful nature with the identity left unrevealed seems of female nature.) is saying that my morals are wrong and that no decent person would actually like my stories and that Hanson is innocent. She's also calling me disrespectful. So, here's a nice little bit of rambling about what I think of all this.
In the first sentence, this person has offended me, my friends, my readers and every Hanfic author out there who's written something against the grain. I'm not a Christian, a Protestant, a Jew, an Athiest, an agnostic, a Buddhist, a Taoist, a Sadist, a Witch (I hope you realize that by this I mean believer in the Wiccan religion.) or whatever. I've got a system of my own beliefs that I've thought up to explain the world. It works, people agree with it. E-mail me to find out about it. By having my own beliefs, it does not mean that I don't have morals, a conscience, or respect for what others believe. I do.
Hanfic began with little teenybopper fantasy stories describing platonic relationships brought on by moving to Tulsa that rose to levels of extreme passion and longing. While my first Hanfic story contained many of those elements, (that story is long gone, hopefully never to be seen again) it was still different because it had a plot, character development, fictional characters and some semblance to a story, rather than a fantasy. In today's world of Hanfic, you will no longer find that those fantasies are in suffocating abundance. Instead, you will find stories that have meaning, plotlines, saddening occurances and everything that fantasies don't have. While I may have Taylor Hanson becoming HIV positive in a story, that doesn't mean I want it to happen in real life. I write in hopes of making a point that people will see and possibly gain a few points of intelligence from it. (Although, some of my stories are just for fun.)
I'm not in this to make people think that Hanson aren't innocent. I personally don't think they are. That shows through in my writings. However, seeing as my stories are fictional, I'm not telling anyone that Hanson aren't the little angels that they are/pretend to be. I'm merely making an interesting and hopefully inspirational point. And no, not the one on the top of my head or the one that broke off.
I may not have the best system of morals in the world, but I have enough to know that it isn't polite to go preaching. Whoever wrote that message is trying to tell me that they're better than me because they don't have my morals. I've been told to "re think" my morals. Will I? Hell, no. My morals are fine right now. At least, for me they are. I'm perfectly content with my outlook on the world and it's opinion of me. Just because I'm into writing because I can keep some people from complete and utter boredom, and possibly really entertain some others, doesn't mean I'm wrong for making a Hanson snort a line or drink a fifth of vodka or smoke something or have sex or whatever fits into the plot of the story I'm writing.
Hanfic is merely fiction written about Hanson. I don't know about other authors, but I write fictional stories using the members of Hanson as characters to help sell the story and make it mean more for people. If I wrote about Bob, Joe and John nobody, it wouldn't get me the kind of publicity that writing about Ike, Tay and Zac Hanson does. By writing about someone that no one can know all the aspects of in a short story I can't get the clarity of feelings as I can writing about a Hanson, particularly the one that I know the most about, Jordan Taylor Hanson.
Hanfic isn't wrong and neither are the authors. What is wrong is that there are people who would like to believe that they are always right whether it be with their answers, their morals, their religion, their decisions and their ideas. You'd think that it might have been made clear before I even said anything that people, cultures, races and even public figures and their true selves differ from one another about as much as zilch differs from infinity as far as the amount goes. It's wrong to think that all things are equal or will ever be equal if our world continues to take the path that it is currently on. I know that much, so do most people who understand even the tiniest bit of how the world has come to be and how it continues to try to be.
It was 4:47 p.m EST on Sunday, March 28th, 1999, when I cut off my ramblings and decided that the people who would care already did.
Another message has been left in my guestbook saying something related to this. It was basically putting the blame on someone. Here it goes.
As posted by firefly:
as to the below entry[meaning the anonymous one], and your response: naturally, being a fanfic writer myself, i will agree with most of your response, assuming that the entry was posted by our typical "teenybopper", non imaginitive, close minded, right-winged idiot. unfortunately *or fortunately, depending upon your position*, i happen to know this "she" that has spoken. i suppose that i am biased toward her, but none the less, it's my position and obligation to have my say in the thing. although not important to the matter, this "she", as we currently refer to her, is, in fact, a very good friend of mine, and, in addition, a fan fiction writer herself. although i do know that her "faith", as us non-devouts may call it, is important to her, it is not the only thing that rules the major part of her life. her stories are most certainly *not* your typical "girl moves to tulsa" stories. in fact, i do believe that she's mastered the art of short story writing, herself. her writing is very instrospective and most definitely carefully thought out, original, and over all beautiful. of course, i definitely don't blame you for any of what you've said in response to her comments, seeing as being the person i am, i would probably have taken the same actions. :p anyway, my point here was just to clear things up and let you know my humble opinions and thoughts on the matter. g'day mate. :) *dulcinea.net/penny, is her address, if you'd like to visit*
I'll be the first person to admit that I jump to conclusions. I don't know what "Penny(?)" meant by her offending message. I probably looked too far into it. However, there are a few more things I have to say on this matter. The supposed author of that anonymous message offended me greatly, especially by not confessing to having written the message. I'm not a hard person to please. You can bash me all you want, but throw in one tiny compliment and I can soar on it for days.
I'm not a bad person because I go against the grain. I think it makes me a better person for not being a conformist to what "society" thinks things should be. I'm happy to be in good company going against the grain though. Every author that made me become interested in writing Hanfic has written at least one work that has been considered risque. If it's such a bad thing to write about a public figure doing something considered wrong, then there must be something wrong with making a fictional character do those things. I'm fictionalizing a public figure. Is that wrong?
I'm trying my best to be truly original in a world where everyone being "original" is thinking just like everyone else. If I don't write about things that people actually go through, overemphacized though it may be, what am I supposed to write about? Besides, it's not like I'm writing every story just so I can defame the fictionalized members of Hanson. I'm writing because I like it, it's fun and it gives me something to do other than sit on my ass in front of a television all day long or wonder why I never have homework even though I'm in honors classes. I'm not just entertaining me either. I have had maybe three people of the four hundred plus who have said things to me about my stories (through my guestbook and e-mails) complain about my stories. One complained because she thought I had based a story on her because I used her names (Xanthe). Once I e-mailed her back, she replied saying that she hadn't expected such a nice response or even one at all. Another e-mail complained that in my story "Your Best Nightmare" I portrayed Taylor Hanson as bisexual. Lots of people are, he may be, get over it. You know what the third one was (if you have any intelligence at all). So, that's a lot of people who've liked my work.
I can't tell you how many times I've wondered why some works appeal to some people and other works to other people. It's not a question that I can answer to it's fullest extent. Therefore, I won't try. But, when someone tries to tell me that I'm wrong for writing something that isn't an answer to a test question I have to call them on it because I'm polite enough not to do that and I'd always assumed that all relatively decent people were. My time to be polite in this little essay of sorts is now over. Get ready for rude.
Any damn bitch who tries to call my bluff or call me a spade isn't going to get anywhere with it because damn it I like to fight and I will fight hard. I don't care if you're a Christian or a Jew or an Athiest or a Satanist or a Witch, etc. If your proverbial ass needs a kicking, my proverbial foot will be happy to do it service. When you insult me and tell me I'm wrong and expect me to take it sitting down, you should prepare yourself to be knocked down because I don't take anything sitting down and certainly not that.
I may not be a little devout Christian/Jew/Athiest/etc. but I know that in every religion and every walk of life it's expected that you accept everyone else's dogmas and personal beliefs. You don't have to believe them, just accept them. There's this thing called open-mindedness. It's where you accept that you're not always right and that your rights aren't always the only ones. Learn that. You can get through a big portion of life basically scot-free if you're open-minded.
I've yet to tell anyone anything that I'll regret. So, let's see if I can come up with something. "Penny" is a bitch. A hoe. A Lucifer-loving whore-of-Satan rotton creampuff sliding down a convent's wall. No, I didn't mean any of that. I'm sorry "Penny". That was just an example of how it feels to be told my morals could use a change. I'm fine with them. You should be too.
I'm tired of being an ass for now. I might add onto this in the future. You never know.
Appendage(5/2/00) - A lot of things have happened with my religion since I wrote this. As I've since discovered, I'm Wicca. :) Well, let me explain it. I researched Witchcraft and found out that Wicca and Witchcraft are different religions. And, when looking into the different sects, I found the one that I am closest to being. Its called "Ecclectic Wicca". Hope no one's offended.
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