"Where are you going?" Taylor prompted after lunch.

"I have some things to do," I sighed.

"Do you want me to go with you?" I could tell Taylor was already feeling out of place and neglected.

"Um . . . actually, I think I need to do this alone. Why don't you keep Daddy company? He really likes you, you know."

"He does?"

"Yeah, I was with him last night. He thinks you're a nice young man," I smiled.

"Well, maybe I should." We exchanged a quick hug, before I left for the grave yard.

It wasn't more than a mile away, and I thought it would be best to go alone anyway. I needed to talk to Mama, privately.

The tombstone was exactly as I left it last semester. A deep feeling inside of me half expected it to be gone. The whole idea of Mom not being there was still surreal. Daddy called me when she had her heart attack. She was in intensive care, but still living when I got to the hospital. I had driven the four hours with Mike, and I found her sleeping. Eyes closed, steady beeping, but life was still in her. I remember holding her hand, while Daddy wept. No more than two were allowed in the room, and only immediate family. My sisters had already seen her, but I was the one who was there for her final moments.

"Haley," she sighed as if it pained her to speak.

"Mama. Mama, please don't do this to me, now."

"Haley, stop it. Everyone has their time. This is just mine. You can't regret a single moment of being with me, because you were the best."

"I should've stayed, Mom. I shouldn't have gone to college. I could've protected you."

"No. You were meant to go far. You're supposed to be out discovering. You're not one to stay; you've got wings."

I held her hand as she slipped away. The steady beeping changed into one long sound. Red. Deep strokes of crimson. They invaded my soul, and I felt so helpless. Everything I'd ever done . . . everything I'd ever hoped of doing was for her. And she just stopped trying. And her last words would always make me cry. Wings. Wings to fly. She understood me, so well. I gasped out when she let go, like by yelling, I could make her soul return to her body. But it didn't. She always did what needed to be done; always doing things for someone else. So when she had the chance to get her wings, she took it.

I remember the doctors closing their eyes, as if they too, were helpless. I remember telling them that they could do something. Why weren't they bringing her back? They had every reason to. The man who never cried was hunched by his wife, tears seeping out of his eyes. But now that I've had time, I understand that you really can't stop someone from flying when they've got wings. She said it herself; she said that I've got them too. I don't believe it, though. Why would I have wings when I had lost the very thing I needed them for? When she left, she took the inspiration with her. I no longer dreamed of becoming a star or holding the office of president. I became a real person.

I touched the engraved rock. Her name, Alice Virginia Walters Morgan, imprinted deeply into stone.

"I believe there are angels among us." I can still hear the faint melody of that song, chiming in the air. She had a little music box that she kept on her shelf that played the tune. It was right beside the baby pictures, the wedding pictures, the little gifts we managed to find on vacations. As a child, of all the ornaments displayed, it was my favorite. I'd wind it up, and just listen, wondering how it was able to get music inside of it. Mama loved it too. She'd sit in her rocking chair, and close her eyes. It wasn't until I was in my teens that I looked at Mama and saw that she was older that the Moms of my friends. Her hair was grayer, and she moved a little slower. She was my angel, Mama was. So I had it written under her name. My sisters understood it, too. She wasn't only my angel.

I stepped onto the grave, even though I knew it was a highly improper thing to do. Kicking off my sandals, I felt thick grass cushion my feet. I sat down to talk heart to heart. "Well, Mama. Happy Birthday." I breathed in, half expecting her to answer, but instead heard the breeze rustling leaves of the surrounding trees. "I've survived my first year of college. Can you believe it? It was tough. I never realized once I left home, how much I'd actually miss it," I smiled.

"Oh, you don't know how tough it was for me to go back. I wanted to just take off the rest of the year, and return when I was stronger, but Daddy said that I should go. Isn't that what you'd say?" I sniffled. "It's a perfectly beautiful spring day. The end of June, you picked a good time to be born."

"I met a guy, Mama. His name is Taylor. Yeah, I know. I know I told you that we were just friends, Mom. But something changed after you left. I let my guard down. I let myself fall in love. That's something I thought I'd never do."

"I'm still strong, though, I've got wings." I let myself cry. "You said that I have them, but I just haven't used them yet, Mama. What's Heaven like? Have you met many people? Do you miss me, Mom? Because I miss you . . . I miss you so much it hurts. I didn't get you anything for your birthday. I couldn't think of anything I knew you'd use up there. I've heard that when you're in Heaven, you get everything you've always wanted. Is it true? Or is it just that you don't want anything else once you get to Heaven? I bet you're having a party; are Moses and Mary joining you for dinner?" I smiled.

"Daddy got you something. He bought you pearls. Said you'd want them. I think I'm going to put the necklace right here." I slipped it into a tiny pouch. "That way, it won't get hurt in the weather." I leaned over and dropped them in the small cement vase meant for flowers. "And we got you some flowers. They're pink and red roses. I also picked a few daisies on the way here. Daddy always called you his "pretty little daisy." I never knew how much he loved you, Mama. But now I can see. I think that just maybe, I might love Taylor the same way. So I want you to keep looking out for us; just to make sure we're all right. I'll be thinking of you, you know." I couldn't hold back any longer. I felt empty, and incomplete.

"Mama, why did you have to die?" I whimpered. "It's not fair. I still need you," I closed my eyes. "I wasn't ready to let go of you. Why didn't you tell me? We could have gone out. I would've taken you anywhere you wanted, Mama." I looked up at the sky, eyes shut, seeing warm colors through my eyelids. "I love you. And Daddy, he said I was stronger than him, but I'm not. He said he'd be celebrating with you tonight, but I don't quite understand him. How can you celebrate something that hurts so much? Mama," I cried. I felt a hand on my shoulder. Warm, comforting. It had to be Taylor.

"Haley," a man's voice whispered. It wasn't Taylor's, it was . . ."

"Mike," I gasped. "Today, it's her . . ."

"Birthday, I know," he finished. "I came, because I thought you might be here." He leaned down to sit beside me.

"I'm sorry I didn't call you," I sniffled. "I was scared." He wrapped his arms around me, and I let out a breath I'd been holding for quite some time.

"I understand, Haley. I missed you, you know. I love you." He held me tight and safe. I felt so weak and helpless.

"I love you, too. Thank you."

"You don't need to say thanks to me. I'll always be there for you."

"Mike, I miss her. I miss her so much."

"Shhh," he rubbed my back. "You'll see her again."

"I'm not like Mama. I'm not as good as her."

"That doesn't matter, Haley. You've got wings." I looked into his eyes. I'd never told him that before. He must've been listening. I searched his eyes, and saw pain.

"Did you hear everything?"

"Yeah, I was here."

"Mike, that was private!" I angrily pushed him away.

"I'm sorry. I just didn't want to interrupt." I let him pull me tighter.

"So you heard about Taylor, huh?"

"Yeah, I did. Do you really love him? Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I am. I'm really sure about this."

"But what was it between us, Haley? You and Taylor were friends. We were more than that."

"Please don't do this to me, Mike. That was forever ago. I was naive. I didn't realize what I was doing."

"You slept with me, Haley. I was your first. How can you just erase that?" he grabbed my wrists. He wasn't angry, more hurt.

"I told you that was a mistake. I'm in love now, and it's not with you. Please, just let me be with Taylor." He released me.

"I didn't think it was a mistake. I seriously didn't. It was real."

"No, it wasn't," I shook my head. "You're a nice person. A nice friend. That's all I want now. Please, just leave me alone. I'll see you when I'm ready."

"I think I'll make you change your mind, Haley. I really will."