"Haley, he's gone!" Karen yelled, as soon as I came home. Ryan had let me stay after hours. I knew Taylor was leaving for Oklahoma. His eyes, those icy ocean spheres had been more hurt than angry. There was no use in going home right away. He would've thought I was lying, making up stories to make him stay. Plus, I really didn't want to watch him pack. I didn't want him to walk out my door, saying goodbye. He didn't say goodbye at Cherry Street. I'm glad the word slipped his mind . . . because I didn't think I could take it.

"I know, Karen. I know." The tears couldn't flow anymore. I've never been much of a crier anyway. Haley Morgan was strong. She didn't cry at movies, books, when she was physically hurt, and definitely not over boyfriends. I'd found the second thing to cry about in my life.

"What happened?" she rushed over, putting her cool hands on my heated tearstained cheeks.

"I made a terrible mistake. I kissed Mike, and Taylor saw. Well, I didn't kiss him, he kissed me. But Taylor doesn't know that."

"Haley." Her voice was comforting, not angry. She guided me over to the dining room table, and we sat down.

"I didn't want to kiss him, Karie. He kissed me. We'd gotten into an argument. And I thought, Oh God, he's going to rape me. So, I just went ahead and kissed him. I thought if I just did that, he'd stop. Plus, we were in plain view, daylight. I just tried to appease him." She soothingly rubbed my back like Mama used to do. In fact, I'd almost said Mama instead of Karie.

I cursed myself for being so stupid. Mike didn't need appeasing. He would never rape me, or physically abuse me. I knew that. He had emotionally hurt me, though.

"Haley, it's okay. You just need to rest. It's almost midnight, and you've been through a lot, tonight."

"Karen, why do things have to change? I should be on the plane with Taylor, right now. I should be in Oklahoma."

"Do you love, Taylor?"

"Yes, Karen, I do."

"Then love will find a way."

"You're starting to sound like Mama." She glowed then, like the Glow Worm I had as a kid. Patting her stomach, she answered thoughtfully.

"That's the nicest thing you've ever told me, Haley. Now go on to bed, before I punish you like Mama would've for coming in late." I smiled half heartedly, and went upstairs to find comfort in my own dreams.

"Haley, how much of that are you going to eat?" David stared accusingly at me. I hid behind my shelter of Ben and Jerry's. Coming from a family of girls, I never had to worry about being ridiculed of my woman things. Taylor used to turn pale at the word "tampons," but even he let me eat my dangerous amounts of highly fattening ice cream when I was bummed. I didn't like the idea of having a brother-in-law to reprimand me.

"Haley can have all the ice cream she wants. You keep quiet," Daddy sharply cut him off.

"Thanks Daddy," I giggled and stuck my nose up at David.

Face to pillow, my tears rolled again. I'd been in sweats all day, hair pulled back. Depression-wear, I called it. Ben and Jerry can both dull pain, but in the long run, it's only Taylor who can make it go away. And now, Taylor's gone. My muffled sobs couldn't drown out the creak of the bedroom door. I could tell by the sound of the footsteps that it was daddy. I turned around to see his gentle face and white-gray hair.

"Karen said you and Taylor had a falling out. I was asleep when he left, but it didn't take a genius for me to know. You've been in my ice cream."

"Daddy."

"Shh. I'll share, but just this once." He sat on my bed. "Taylor is a nice young man. You know, he reminds me a lot of myself. And you're a lot like Alice."

"Nah. Mom was never stupid enough to kiss another guy."

"Oh, you think that, huh? Alice didn't even want to marry me."

"What?"

"Oh, yes. She told me that she wanted to experience the world. She didn't want to be tied down."

"No way."

"Mmmhmm. It hurt so much, but I didn't want her to know that. I didn't want her to see that I was actually crying, so I was very cold to her."

"What happened?"

"She smacked me."

"For what?"

"For being stupid. Then she kissed me, and said we'd experience the world together." I grinned. "Oh, don't be fooled. I think she just wanted the ring."

"Daddy!"

"Oh, hush. I know she loved me. You love Taylor, too. Why don't you go back to Oklahoma?"

"Because I don't think he loves me."

"I wouldn't count on it, Sweetie."

"I just don't know, Daddy. I've got some things to think about."

"Well then, go outside. You've been in here all day. Karen and David don't have a pool for nothing, Haley."

"Swimming, I'd like that, Daddy." He bent down to kiss my forehead.

"Good, you go on later."

"Okay." He walked out of my room, leaving me smiling, amidst my misery.

Nightswimming. It evoked so many memories of hanging out with close friends in backyard pools. Being alone was somehow different, though. Nocturnal animals chirped and buzzed, breaking the black silence. They only come out at night, just like I've been lately.

I floated in the water, breathing slowly, in and out. I could hear the soft sound, magnified by my ears, immersed in liquid. My eyes opened, so I could view the sky. I was surprised at how they burned, even though there was no light, save for a street lamp, quite a distance away. The crying. I'd been crying so much since yesterday. Being in cool water was somehow relieving to my body.

But it wasn't relieving enough to help me slip out of my problems. Why did I go out with Mike in the first place? Why did I agree with him? I actually had fun, too. Mike and I were . . . are good friends. But that's where it ends, friends. The sky wasn't overcast like it had been the two previous nights. It was perfect. All the stars were out, and they were set off by blackness.

Such a beautiful night, and I had to spend it without him. I felt pain in my jaw again, but clenched it to keep the tears from escaping. Taylor. So perfect and wonderful. He loved me too, just like I loved him. The thought of him being with any other girl made me nauseas. I would kill her. I would rip her very flesh off her bones. If I couldn't have him, no one could have him. My thoughts didn't amuse me, though. And thinking my jealous thoughts happened to be highly hypocritical. I had, in fact, done the worse thing to the relationship. I was the bad girl. I deserved for him to hate me.

Things used to be so easy. Everyone seems to have the preconceived notion that a guy and a girl can't be just friends. But my best friends were guys, and I was set to prove the world wrong. I'd always planned to have my friendship and romantic lives, clearly defined, and set apart. But even I, the unbeatable Haley Morgan fell. For my best friend. Fate has a way of changing just when you don't want it to.

"Maybe, he's not the one," Mike words still stung. I'd heard him say it, just as he left for his car. One person couldn't have been any more wrong. Taylor Hanson was the only man who could make me happy, and if I couldn't have him, I wouldn't have anyone. I didn't need a man to get by, and I certainly wouldn't settle for anyone else.

A comet drifted across the sky. I thought back to the night when Taylor and I first kissed. She smacked me for being stupid. Wishing on lucky stars wouldn't get me out of this one. Nothing could get me out of this.

Being a Hanson fan as a teenager certainly prepped me up for this love stuff. I had read my share of fan fiction in my day. I particularly loathed the stories that mentioned the main character reading fanfic. As if Hanson stories could actually come true . . . Those stories, though, they were good. Harlequin had nothing on the girl heroes, landing their favorite Hanson brother, and taking a good bow at curtain call.

Taylor wasn't even my favorite Hanson brother, I realized with a smile. He certainly was now. But what would those characters have done . . . Marissa, Gretchen, Myra, Becca? What would they do if they kissed another guy? Were they really crazy enough to mess up something so wonderful? Doubtful. Only I'd do something that stupid.

I closed my eyes, and sunk back down. Drowning, at this point, didn't seem like such a bad idea. Water gushed over my face, and I opened my eyes. Clear liquid blurred my vision. Mike . . . his lips had been chapped, forced together. They weren't soft and relaxed like Taylor's. His speech was practiced, choppy. Not easygoing and smooth like Taylor's. I pushed my head out of the water, gasping for air. I'd forgotten to breathe underneath it all. Was this how it would always be? Would I always compare every guy to Taylor? Or would I go on with my life, and be strong?

"Haley . . ." A voice behind me broke the serenity of despair I'd created with my own self pity.

"Mike . . ." I replied, realizing who it was. I swam to the side of the pool, and climbed out. Grabbing my towel, I dabbed my body, while waiting for him to speak.

"I'm sorry," he sighed. That was all he had to offer. "I didn't believe you . . . when you said you were in love, Haley."

"God Mike, how could I have been any plainer?" I huffed.

"I thought you were trying to make me jealous. Damnit, I came to apologize. I didn't have to do that, you know."

"No shit, Sherlock. Might've been better if you'd chosen to stay out of my life in the beginning," I snapped. I suppose I just needed to blame someone.

"I didn't come to be taken back, Haley, I came to tell you to go on. Go to Oklahoma." Stunned, I swung my towel over my shoulders. Why on Earth would he say something like that?

"Are you serious?"

"Yes," he exhaled reluctantly. "I am. You're too stubborn to take me back anyways."

"Not stubborn, Mike. I just don't love you . . . like that." He looked at his shoes.

"I feel guilty. I've heard that love doesn't come around on too many opportunities."

"Since when do you know anything about love?" I cracked a smile, but hid it behind my lips.

"Since I watched My Best Friend's Wedding today. It was on cable." He was cute. Only Mike could say something like that, and still be completely serious.

"So, you're Julia Roberts?" I let my smile slip through.

"Don't start, Haley. Taylor's Cameron Diaz."

"They do resemble each other, eh?" I sighed. Cautiously, I stepped forward, and Mike took his cue. He lightly hugged me, and I hugged him back.

"We're friends, right?" I mumbled.

"Yeah, Haley, Burger Buds. Pinky swear?"

"Mike, that's stupid."

"Burger Buds for life," he ignored me, and dopily held out his pinky. I interlocked it in mine.

"For life, Mike . . . for life."

"Let's quit before we start to sound like an after school special." I hugged him again.

"Too late."

"So . . . are you going back to Oklahoma soon? Find what you want?"

"Actually, Mike, I think it's too late for that," I cast my eyes downward, and folded my arms over the banister. Too late, I repeated in my mind, looking out under the stars. I closed my eyes. Why couldn't I be Marissa?