Chapter Eighteen . . . Going Home


"Oh my God, I'm getting married," Theresa came to a sudden realization, as we closed the door of her house behind us.

"To Isaac Hanson," Michelle added. We swarmed around her, making sure her dress was off the ground, walking to the car.

"At least it isn't raining," Theresa's mom breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank the Lord," bridesmaids dolled up in taffeta chorused. I just had to smile. Years of watching Betsy's Wedding, Father of the Bride, and all of the TLC Wedding Story episodes, had not prepared me for this. I felt a tug on my dress.

"Why did you leave?" Zoë asked, adorable in her lacy dress.

"I went home for a while."

"I missed you."

"You did?"

"Yeah. So did Taylor," she smiled mischievously. This girl was more of a mess than she let on.

"I missed you guys, too, Zoë."

"When Tay came home, I thought you'd be with him."

"Yeah, well, Tay and I had to be apart from each other for a little while. Anyway, Taylor had to come home to help Ike with the wedding."

"I'm the flower girl."

"I know. You look so pretty."

"Thank you," she politely replied. "I knew you'd be back." Before I could answer, she was with Diana, and the crowd of girls stuffing themselves in a van, not meant for poufy dresses. I sighed, and walked in the direction of Theresa's car. By the time I'd gotten it started, the wedding party was just about to hit the road.

"Tulsa First Baptist Church," I saw the name scribbled on a napkin in the passenger's seat. Theresa's church since she was a little girl, I remembered, and the church she would be married in. Funny thing, though, with Theresa, I thought she might've chosen a church with the name, "Silver Springs Chapel," or "Grove Freewill Church," a cathedral perhaps. Not plain old Tulsa First Baptist. Following the white van, I wondered if we'd see any reporters. Doubtful, though. At least, I hoped not. Theresa and Isaac hadn't exactly made this a private affair. They'd insisted on having their picture and wedding announcement posted in several newspapers. And the wedding of Clarke Isaac Hanson and Theresa Amber Allen was pretty unlikely to sell many tabloids. It was too late for that.

A familiar beat made me turn up the volume of the radio. "So glad we made it . . . whoa . . . Gimme Some Lovin'." The thought of it sent my mouth smiling and my mood charging. Spencer Davis Group couldn't do this to me, but the fact that Taylor, Isaac, and Zac had covered it, thrilled me to no end.



Atlanta, July 5, 1998. The catchy opening beat sent Elizabeth and I into a rage. "Oh my God! That's them," she squealed, as the curtain rose. As if it could be anyone else. I snatched her binoculars, and glued them to my eyes.

"I can see them, Liz. Perfect view."

"Lemme' see!" she shouted. Girls around us were going nuts, jumping and squealing.

"Watch Taylor's jumping!" I cackled, while Lizzie struggled to find the view through her lenses. "Thumper strikes again," I scoffed. "He's such a dork."

"No, he's not. He's gorgeous," Liz swooned.

"Eww. He's gross. Wait, zoom in. Can you see Johnny like Amanda said?"

"No, he's not out yet."

"Oh, maybe after MMMBop."

"Yeah, maybe. Haley, why don't you like Taylor?"

"Because . . . he's going to come out one of these days, you know? Not that I'm homophobic or anything, but well . . . look at him."

"Oh, I forgot. No one can be as good as Isaac. One of these days, you're gonna' be, 'Ooh, that Taylor Hanson is hot!' and I'll make fun of you to know end."

"Never!"


I giggled as I returned back to date. Lizzie would never believe all this. Damn, Diana's van had gotten separated with my car. "Gimme' Some Lovin'" faded out, and was replaced with an oldie song I didn't recognize. I strained to see the van, but unfortunately, it was nowhere in sight. Haley, why couldn't you pay more attention to your driving, than your reminiscing? Ugh, I needed to stop and ask for directions now. I pulled over at a gas station, and walked inside.

"Um . . . excuse me, sir. Can you please give me directions to Tulsa First Baptist?"

"Sure. Ya' take Highway 70, turn by the Roadhouse onto Emerson Street. Drive until you see the first church sign, and follow the others from there." I scribbled the locations down onto the paper he'd given me from behind the counter.

"Thanks so much," I smiled. "I've got to make it to a wedding."

"I could tell by your fancy clothes. You look very nice."

"Thanks," I grinned and capped the pen. "Here you go." He nodded, and I returned to the car. Back behind the wheel, I made my way onto Highway 70, and waited for a Roadhouse to magically appear.

"Roadhouse, roadhouse, roadhouse," I mumbled. "Where the hell is a roadhouse?" This certainly was taking longer than I'd expected. Glancing at my watch, I realized I still had plenty of time, so I wasn't too worried.

Somewhere along Highway 70, though, God decided to get even. The engine light of the car came on. Engine lights can't stop Haley Morgan, so I ignored it, and pressed on. The steam, however, could not be ignored. The hood of the car suddenly became engulfed in thick steam, rushing out of the sides. Wide eyed and terrified, I pulled the car to the side of the road. Grabbing my purse, I opened the door, and hopped out. I'd have a good story to tell my friends if I got through this.

"So there I was . . . wearing a red satin formal and a pair of shoes that certainly didn't cushion my feet . . . with a car that could blow at any moment . . . late for the most important event of my friend, Theresa's life . . . and to mend a relationship with the only man I would ever love . . . in the middle of nowhere."

There wasn't a way I was going back to that car, currently spewing gas faster than my Uncle Larry at Thanksgiving dinner. So I made sure the can of pepper spray I'd bought months ago, was securely in my purse, and I stuck out my thumb to hitch hike. Agonizing car after car drove by for almost twenty minutes, before I seriously considered showing a little leg from underneath the dress to entice a savior or two. Out of nowhere, a trucker came to my rescue. I'd seen too many episodes of Unsolved Mysteries not to be worried, but I felt a little better when the driver turned out to resemble Walker Hanson. Somehow, it set me at false ease when he jumped out to check my car.

"You've broken a water hose," he announced after a full analysis. "Where do you need to be?" he asked, seeing my clothes were a bit too formal for your average drive of oh so scenic Tulsa.

"My friend Theresa's wedding. It's at Tulsa First Baptist, and I'm not quite sure where that is either. All I know is that I'm late."

"Fine, I can take you. You were in the right direction."

"Really? Oh, thank you so much. Here, I need to repay you."

"Nah, it's okay. I didn't do much. Here are the keys," he handed them over. "Now, I locked your doors. Can you handle it later?"

"Sure . . . thanks again."

"No problem. Get inside." I let him help me up, and I curiously looked around. I must say that I'd never been in a truck so large before. We'd been driving for a few minutes before a small book in the floor, caught my eye.

"Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus," I read the title and picked it up.

"Good book."

"You've read it?"

"Truck drivers get in touch with their emotions too," he defended with a smile.

"Can't say that I've read it. I am going to write my memoirs after I get back to college at UNC, though."

"Ah, what are you going to title it?"

"What Happens When Mars is an Ex-Teenage Pop star and Venus has yet to find her Niche." He gave me a questioning sideways glance, but didn't ask.

"Will it have a happy ending?"

"I don't know yet. I'll find out today."

"Well, here we are. Good luck. Tell Mars I said hello."

"I will. Wait, what's your name?" I climbed out of the truck.

"Michael Phillips."

"Thank you, Mr. Phillips."

"Welcome. So long." I waved my hand and walked in the direction of the church. I was late. I'd have to stand in the back, but I hoped I hadn't missed the "I Do's." The thought of seeing Taylor again sent butterflies flying through my stomach. I was so nervous, and although I'd never admit it, I was . . . scared.

Jogging up to the church, I let myself in through the opened outside doors, and slipped through those on the inside. Isaac and Theresa were slipping wedding bands on each other's fingers. I moved quietly, to the right side of the sanctuary, and stood behind the last pew. I caught Zoë's eye, and wished I hadn't been late. I would've killed to see her rendition of the flower girl routine. I could see, though, from the few petals at the beginning of the aisle and a huge clump at the end, she'd dumped her basket at the end of the journey.

Theresa and Isaac held hands at the altar, following every specific detail the reverend voiced, and they were beautiful. Lost in each other's eyes, I saw Isaac mouth a secret, "I love you" to her. I stood, transfixed on the couple, wondering if this was how my own parents looked at their wedding, and how Diana and Walker looked.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." The kiss was simple. None of those steamy soap opera kisses, just a slow motion peck from one set of lips to another. I stared, zeroing in on Isaac's expression, as he pulled away. He watched her open her eyes and blush, as if it was their first kiss. The corners of his lips creased upward, exposing his teeth. That boy had seen me in my underwear, and the smile he wore then wasn't nearly as brilliant as the one he was flashing for his new wife. He was in love.

Clapping, cheering, maternal tears. Isaac and Theresa Hanson walked together back down the aisle, followed by the rest of the wedding party. Zac smiled at me, as soon as our eyes met, and I could tell he had something to tell me. Michelle, however, didn't notice, and with arm still linked in Zac's, led him out.

And then I saw him. His eyes connected with my shoes, before gradually panning upward and into my eyes. I've never been much of a believer in hypnotism. No one could ever make me quack like a duck, simply by waving an object in my eyes. But Taylor's eyes could do it. The idea of drowning in those eyes managed to work its way into my mind. Such an absurd thought, to drown in a gaze. I wanted to stop Taylor, and pour out every emotion I'd felt since he'd left. How I think about him before I fall asleep each night, and how he's the first idea to float in, when I wake up in the morning. How I've dreamt of this moment all those nights in between, to be lost in the depth of his eyes. How more than anything, I wanted a happy ending. But I didn't. He walked on out the doors and out of my sight. I let my chance pass me by.


Diana drove me to the reception. She said they wondered where on Earth I'd gone to, and they were very worried. I said I missed Taylor. She said they'd get the car towed later that week. I said I needed to tell him I loved him. She smiled and didn't speak again. The reception was held at a nice ballroom, very much so decorated. I wasn't hungry, so I didn't bother joining the ridiculously long line. I just found a seat at an empty table, and waited.

"I wanted to talk to you back there," Zac's deep voice caused me to turn around. I smiled and hugged him tightly.

"I missed you," I breathed.

"I missed you," he challenged.

"All right, Tay said he caught you kissing your ex-boyfriend. Is that true?"

"Zac, you have to believe me. He just leaned forward and kissed me. I don't love Mike; I didn't kiss him back. I love Taylor."

"I believe you, Haley. You need to tell Tay. He doesn't know that."

"But I can't talk to him. He hates me."

"Haley, you have to tell him. He doesn't hate you. He just needs to know the truth."

"Where is he?" I asked my voice high and nervous.

"Over there," Zac pointed. I looked up to see him again. He was looking down, taking a sip from his wine glass, eyes spanning the room. I quickly hid my eyes. "What?"

"He just saw me."

"God, Haley, you have to calm down. You've never been like this be . . ." The emcee interrupted him.

"And now introducing, for the first time in public, Mr. and Mrs. Isaac Hanson." The newlyweds beamed with pride, and Isaac led her down the entrance steps to a long table, meant exclusively for the wedding party and family. The line had quickly shortened, and guests were now eating, dancing, having a good time. Zac and I continued our conversation for a few minutes, before we were interrupted again.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, we ask you direct your attention here, for the cutting of the cake." A round of cheers could be heard as Zac and I watched Ike and Terry feed each other the cake. Zac rolled his eyes.

"If I was Theresa, I would've smeared that cake all over Ike's face." I laughed at him, and we tried to ignore the many toasts going around the room. The only one I listened to, in fact, was Taylor's.

"Ike, my big brother," Tay began. "We've come a long way, eh? From our days as kids when I used to beat you up," Isaac threw Taylor a death glare, "to today. Theresa, I couldn't think of another woman who'd be best with Ike. And I know you can beat him up almost as well as I could. Congratulations."

"He's wonderful," I sighed.

"Haley, this is your chance. I'm gonna' go get some cake." He patted my back, and took off.

Standing up, I said a silent prayer, and made my way over to Taylor. He was so close to me, so near, but even though I was standing in front of him, he refused to look up. "Taylor." No answer. "Tay," I put a hand on his shoulder. He shrugged it off. When did it become so difficult to speak to someone I knew so well? "Taylor, look at me when I'm talking to you," I demanded, pleading, humble, angry, all at once.

"You don't deserve to be looked at." Taylor's words were simple, and I'd been expecting them. Only in my dreams would Taylor be even minorly helpful. He was going to make this hard for me.

"What you saw . . . well it wasn't really what happened, Taylor."

"I saw your lips on Mike's. Are you trying to tell me they weren't?" He was cold, angry. How could Theresa say that he missed me? Zoë too? If he really missed me, he wouldn't be looking at me the way he glared now.

"Mike and I got into an argument. So, I got out of the car and stood in front of Cola Stop. You weren't there yet, so Mike waited with me. Before I knew what was happening, Mike was kissing me. Then you were there. And you left. He kissed me Taylor, but I didn't kiss him back. You have to believe me on that, Tay."

"And if I don't?"

"Then for what it's worth, Taylor, you'll be making the stupidest decision of your life."

"But what would happen? What if we didn't get back together?" His voice turned a little softer.

"Well, I'd go back to North Carolina, stay with Karen until school starts, then go. I'd throw myself into schoolwork, and graduate years later. I'd be successful and I'd never come back to Oklahoma." I knew what he wanted to know, but I dodged the question, so he'd think I wasn't including Mike. I couldn't let him know that I'd been sobbing. I answered plainly, with no emotion.

"Would you get back together with Mike?"

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Of course not. Mike and I are just friends. He even told me to come back to you."

"Why did you let it happen, Haley?"

"Because . . . because . . . I don't know why. I just know that I'm sorry. I love you, Taylor. I've been a mess without you. I love you," I whispered. I let my defenses down. I needed him, and he had to know. It was his choice then.

Waiting a moment, he licked his lips to speak. "I love you, too," his words, though barely audible, were all I could hear, repeated over and over again in my ears. His arms engulfed me, and I held on tight. I could never let him go.

Then I did what I'd been planning to do ever since I walked off the plane. "Oww! Damnit, Haley. What was that for?" He rubbed his sore cheek, after I smacked him good.

"For being stupid."

"You're possessed. It's true, isn't it?" He whined, but still held onto me.

"A very wise man told me to do that."

"Satan?"

"No, someone who can beat your butt at checkers."

"Oh, no way. He cheated."

"Sure, Tay. Think of my smacking you as payback."

"For what?"

"For everything."

"Well one thing's for sure."

"What?"

"You got me when I was least expecting it." I found his shoulder and rested my head on it. Our arms encircled each other in a strength only pythons can achieve.

"I guess I finally got even."


"I knew you guys would get back together," Theresa smiled. "And about the car, don't worry. We can get it later. You gonna' try to catch the bouquet?"

"Are you kidding? Of course not."

"Oh go on. The girls are all over there."

"Well, okay. I caved. I mean, Theresa had, in fact, been the reason Taylor and I got back together. Without her, I'd still be sobbing in Black Mountain.

Savage bridesmaids and unmarried female relatives grouped around me, all after the same prize. Theresa threw her bouquet behind her, and I jumped to get it. Unfortunately, the flowers sailed past me to the back of the group.

"I got it!" I heard the high-pitched voice of Avery behind me. Our huddle spread apart to reveal a ten-year-old tom boy, looking awful uncomfortable in a dress and panty hose. On her left hand, she wore a softball mitt, squashed flowers peeking out of each side.

"Woohoo! Avie, way to go!" Zac whistled. Aver claimed her prize with a grin, and she held the flowers up.

"Damn, I wanted them," Michelle said.

"Avie is quite the softball player. We're nothing against her," I grinned.

"They're getting ready to leave."

"Oh, let's get the birdseed." Taylor picked up on our conversation.

"Why not rice?" he asked.

"Because birds eat the rice, and once it gets in their stomach, it poufs up, and . . ."

"They blow up." A new voice, Mackenzie, joined in. He was hopeful to say the least.

"I'd like to see that."

"Taylor!" I scolded.

"We really did up Ike's car. I wouldn't be surprised if he cries." I felt an arm wrap around my waist, as we picked up our bags of birdseed. We walked outside onto the church steps, lining up on each side. Ike's car was decked out in cans, toilet paper, and shaving cream writing all over. In addition to the huge "Just Married" sign, there was something else.

"Taylor, you wrote the lyrics to MMMBop on the car?!?"

"It was Zac's idea. Ike always did love to quote them. I mean, he found his relationship that lasted."

"Oh, here they come." As Ike and Theresa left, bird seed came out of nowhere. I even took a chunk in the eye.

"Good luck! Have fun!" We yelled. The car sped away, leaving everyone to go back inside. Taylor and I lingered in the church yard.

"They make a great couple," I sighed, when we were all alone.

"Yeah. I'm glad you're back."

"I never wanted you to leave."

"I really missed you. Haley, I love you so much."

"Taylor, let's go home."

"Home . . . finally."


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