The Other Side of the Tracks
The Tower theater is set on a vaguely nice street in the middle of a literal, actual slum like you see in history class. But it was absolutely nothing in comparison to the surroundings of the Metropolis theater in Montreal. I mean, come on. Philly was quality: right down the road was the ever-classy "Soul Food Takeout."   Montreal Ouest has flair that no city in America could ever imagine; within half a block of the Metropolis was the "Vampire Lounge"--complete with graffiti covered, dented metal door and grimy facade with no visible windows--as well as my personal favorite, "The Sex-o-theque."  Guess we know where Scott Hogan went after the show ;)

The Taylor Hanson Hair Flip™
If you've seen them live this time around, you know what I'm talking about. It starts at about his knees and crawls upward--seemingly in slow motion--born of a series of muscle contractions each one more delightful than the last.  99.98% of the long, foofy haired population of the world has a common method of getting the mane out of their eyes: shoving it behind their ears and being done with it. And this is exactly why 99.8% of the long, foofy haired population of the world isn't Taylor Hanson: they've got no sense of style, no appreciation for spectacle.

A rough instruction guide to the flip™: 1) stand with your feet together, back straight, arms at your side. 2) Lower body remaining completely still, throw your head forward with as much force as possible (remember, though, there are no bonus points for needing a neck brace at the end of the maneuver), thereby causing your hair to flip, limp and preferably sweaty, in front of your face. 3) Before losing momentum and while allowing your head to loll, ragdoll-style, bend slightly at the knee and snap your upper body backwards in a rolling motion, paying particular attention to maintaining a smooth arc of glide in the pelvis and shoulder areas.  The whiplash caused by this motion should jerk your head backwards to an extreme, perhaps even painful, angle, but meanwhile it will, thanks to physics, cause a dramatic shower of hair to first halo around you, and then fall perfectly into place on your head. (Kids: don't try this at home. At least not without a trained paramedic within the sound of you voice.)

Ike Hefner
Boston arrived with Ike in a shocking, frisky mood exemplified by his new look, perhaps an early dry run of his Halloween costume: Isaac Hefner, international man of mystery.  Classic gray pants so crisp they were like a fall day in northern New England broke gracefully and swished with our new-found guitar god's every step, perfectly complementing his shimmery, silken M. Butterfly-meets-Playboy-mogul tunic shirt.  A nod to decades past, all young Mr. Hanson needed to complete the look were a couple of blond, silicone enhanced twins by his side. (Sorry, Ike. We know you tried, but while they come pretty close to living up to this description, Taylor and Zac just wouldn't be able to pull off the required bikinis.)

The Real "Ham on Wry" One
Forget Zac. He's nothing. The real star in the Hanson family, it's already obvious, is Zoë.  Whether greeting her adoring fans from the front window of Hanson's tour bus--blowing Evita-esque kisses their way all the while--or holding court with her many admirers outside of the Orpheum theater, Zoë wowed the audience like no one else.  Completely unphased the cooing mass of at least 200 girls who had gathered outside of the Boston venue by 2:30 the afternoon of the show, Zoë wandered around with her family and stood near the glass-paneled doorway of the Orpheum lobby.  She watched the fans, curious yet not overly impressed, her perfect, golden curls adorned by a single purple bow.  She even played several minutes of peek-a-boo with llama while we waited for news about day-of-the-show tickets.  Isaac, Taylor, and Zac are beautiful human beings, but it's obvious why Mr. and Mrs. Hanson aren't investigating preventative methods after all these years: their kids keep getting cuter and cuter.

Reason Number 4,521,001 Why Isaac Hanson Would Be the Perfect Boyfriend
Midway through the Boston show, Isaac somehow came into possession of a single rose. Whether it was handed to him that way or whether he pulled it from a bouquet is unclear. Instead of thoughtlessly throwing it aside as so many boys would be wont to do,   Ike somehow stuck it into the neck of his guitar, leaving it giddily bouncing with his every motion for the duration of several songs.

The Meeting (part 3)
Describing the look that Taylor Hanson gave me before the Boston show is an easy task.  Imagine the campfire moment from If Only: the look of intense interest, the gracefully arched brows, the physically palpable "come hither" magnetism that is Taylor Hanson in all his glory. Now, subtract the interest, the arched brows, and any intentional "come hither" magnetism Taylor may have been exuding that day. And you've got it: llama's very own, personal Taylor Hanson glance....

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