I sat down on the edge of the bed. I almost felt like I was having a hard time breathing, tears were forming in my eyes, but not from sadness, rather from...oh, I don't know. I wasn't snooping, just putting away some stray laundry, no, at 20 and 24 I don't still do their laundry. They have been doing it for many years already. I opened the drawer and moved aside some stuff to put what I had away, and there it was, a little black velvet box. I knew from the size what it could be and hesitated to open it, assuring myself that it was empty. I excused my nosieness with the fact that I'm his mother and I had a right to know..didn't I?

Still perched on the edge of the bed, the box in my hand, unopened, Taylor walked in suddenly.
"Mom..." He was surprised himself, but surprised me as well. "Um, just putting laundry away..." but I didn't hide what I had in my hand. We both just looked at it then at each other.
"Mom, that's Ike's..um..it's private...uh a secret...No one is supposed to know, well um,...he told Zac and me but..." I didn't want to lose my boys trust, so I got up and gently tucked it back under the t-shirt where I found it. Taylor walked up and putting his arms around me from the back, and took out the box again. He opened it, revealing inside what I most hoped, and almost didn't hope, was there. It was stunning. The was Issac's heart in gold and diamonds, in a box, waiting to be given to another woman, and taken from me. I knew that I would always have him in many ways, but the verse that ran through my head at that time, made me sob. "A man shall leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife"and the two shall become one."
Taylor, when?" I paused, he looked so worried, I guess I was putting on quite a show. Wiping my face I assured him they were tears of happiness. "When did he...when is he..."
"Don't know mom, but he is...I was with him when he bought it, the day they got back together. He knows it's her mom, he's sure." There were now tears in his eyes as well, and I hugged my big little boy.
"You don't have to tell him you know, mom, don't ruin it for him" Ike loved having his secrets, that was part of Ike plain and simple. Austin Powers man of mystery...I thought of one of Ike's all time favorite movies and laughed out loud. We both replaced the box to it's hiding spot, and shut the drawer with my first born's secret tucked neatly away.

I lay in bed with Walker that evening, debating on letting him in on my secret, I had no plans to tell Issac I knew of his well laid plans for the future and if I told Walker, he would feel the need to talk to him. I had to talk to someone though.
"Walk..." I wasn't even sure he was awake. His half asleep voice answered.
"Di, hon, whatcha need." he peered up over the top of Zoe's blond curls, she had crawled in with us, like always, shortly after midnight.
"I found...um...Ike has a ring for..." he laughed quietly.
"I know Di, he got it at Phils and he called me to congratulate me, and gave me quite the shock... I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but Zac heard me talking and told me it was a big secret for now." He got up to return Zoe to her proper bed, full well knowing she'd be back in a few hours.

Laying there in silence, I thought back to Walkers proposal, it seemed like yesterday, and now here I was, with my son getting ready to do the same. Walker slid back into bed with me, and wrapped his arms around me.
"Don't worry Di, he knows what he's doing."

Chapter 27

I stood on the porch in the morning sun, it was almost odd, but welcome, that it was so warm that morning. Christmas Eve and it was 60 degrees and sunny out, but that was Tulsa for you, many years we had snow at Christmas, but many others were just like this.

I had promised Lacey that we would go out to breakfast this morning, and I was standing here watching Ike and Kate huddled together in the swing on her porch gathering myself before heading over. The last few nites had been sleepless for me. A decision had to be made about Lacey, Ike was going to hold me to it he said, about whether I was going to continue seeing her or not. My decision had been made, and today was the day for me to deal with it, I had wanted to wait until New Years, you know the whole 'starting anew' thing, but Ike told me that was too long. She needed to know what was going on with us. It was already 15 minutes past when I said I'd come, so heading off down the drive I took a deep breath.

Ike and Kate stood as I approached and followed me into the house. Ike gave me a pat on the back and squeezed my shoulder, he didn't know that today was the day I planned to do it, but he must have sensed how tense I was.
"Lacey's in her room, go on up" Kate smiled, But I hesitated, I hadn't been in her room in, .....hmmm, probably 2 years.
"It's okay, she just talking on the phone, she's dressed, she was just down here a few minutes ago"
I walked slowly up the stairs, and made sure I cleared my throat loudly and knocked before walking in.
"Hey Zac..!" Her smile was just radiant. "I need to go in a minute, Bon, Zac's here."
She was finishing up talking about the last few things, game times and something else, so I took the chance to look around. I remembered from last month what she had said about her closet and reached my hand for the door. Without warning she dropped the phone and planted herself in front of it faster than I thought was humanly possible.
"Zachary Hanson, no way-it full of garbage!" Hehe-- she though I didn't remember.
I was just...gonna get you a coat" I tried to look as innocent as I could while telling my white lie. She looked at me thoughtfully for a moment, shut the cracked door and grabbed the phone back off the bed.
"I have to go...Zac's searching my room.." She looked directly at me with the look in her eyes that said she knew exactly what I was up to. I just wondered if she still had it up, even with the fact that we had been going out. I turned to look at several photos she had stuck in the frame of her mirror, two girls I had seen her with sometimes, and a guy, Who was he? I heard the phone click.
"You think you can fool me, I told you my deep dark secret, and now you want to see for your self..." She had a half smirk on her face, shaking her head. So she hadn't fallen for my innocent act. "Go ahead look, but don't tell me I didn't warn you....I've had this poster since I was 9...." Her cheeks were bright red, and she covered her face with her hands. Well maybe I shouldn't, ah heck, she said I could.... I pulled open the closet, a ball and several pair of shoes fell out. She was right it was full of stuff. If your heart can do a flip flop at the same time you want to burst out laughing, it was that moment. There we were all three of us, the edges were ragged, and it was very visible that she did have it for many years. But the fact that my face had a large red marker heart around it , but the lipstick kisses that adorned the outer edges of it, just made the whole thing. I looked at her, still with her face covered but just her eyes peeking out watching me. This was really hard for her, she had let me in on a deep secret. I shut the door gently without saying anything, and walked over to her. Do it, do it, do it, I chickened out. It was a perfect moment and I couldn't do it. I just gave her a hug.
"When did you do the additions, this last month?" I laughed loudly, and she hit me full on in the shoulder. Man, that girl can really pack a whallop!

We came downstairs to find Ike and Kate nowhere to be seen. Checking the kitchen, there was a note on the counter that they had run to go get bagels and were bringing extras if we just wanted to stay rather than go out. She hopped up and sat on the counter.
"So, we wait or you still want to go?" I really needed to have her alone to talk to her, well, we were alone, but the thought of staying in this safe environment appealed more to my inner chicken. I thought for a moment as I picked some of the green M~n~M's from the bowl on the counter and as I turned to look at her sitting there watching me, a huge lump formed in my throat. The look on her face was just slighly amused, I guess at the fact that I was only picking at the green ones, as if they tasted any better than the others, but also of-- just no other word than adoration. She really liked me and here I was, picking at M~n~M's, and not answering her. She really did like me and she had waited for a long time. She had proved it time and again, and waited for many years till I got my butt in gear and now she was still waiting...I took a step toward her, but the look of anticipation that was normally there when this feeling was in the air for me, wasn't there. She thought I was just going to give her a small sign of outward affection. There wasn't any reason I should be waiting for this any more. I pulled her to me into what I know she thought would be a hug and gently kissed her. Once, then twice, just gentle pecks, and then a little longer with more emotion. She returned it with more intensity that I would think she knew how. After a few wonderful moments, I sensed movement. Not from us either. I pulled away, reluctantly, to find Ike and Kate standing in the doorway with ear to ear grins. Ike shook his head, and smiled at Kate.
"Geez, just something about this kitchen," then both burst into laughter along with us.

Chapter 28

I don't know how those two do it. Mom had me working at this or that all morning and Ike and Zac were no where to be seen. I had already cleaned two bathrooms, my room, swept the front porch and wrapped gifts that never seem to end. All this and it was only eleven. I needed a girlfriend so I could get away with walking around in a daze, and disappearing at all hours of the day and nite.

I had tried to talk to Ike about this Bon person that hung around with Lacey, but he gave me a strange response of "........go ahead and try, but don't expect much..." and continued on in his daze. I heard the door open and someone headed down to our room, either it was mom looking for her slave, or Ike sneaking in so he wouldn't become one.
"Hey Tay..." It was Ike, back from nowhere. He was actually in a really good mood, and had a good size box he tossed on the bed. "You have the wrap down here?"
I motioned over in the corner, he moved to get it but stopped to pick the box with Kate's ring from the drawer. He opened it, looked at it, almost like he was lost in thought for a moment then tucked it in his jacket pocket. I would have been a little more shocked, but he carried it with him on and off.
"What did you get her for Christmas?" He smiled, but almost more to himself than to me. "Ike?"
"Yeah...um...I'm not sure, I have a few things, but I think I'll just have one for her tonight..." He left taking his smile and his thought with him.

Okay, mom had found me for the last time, after I finish this, I'm taking a walk and escaping. If Ike and Zac can disappear for hours at a time, so can I. Grabbing my coat I headed outside, then just tossed it on he swing, seeing as it was almost on the warm side. I didn't know where I was headed, but just anywhere to get out of the house.

I walked for awhile, I guess I was heading for Dave's house, kind of the long way around though. I nearly fell flat on my face as a basketball flew right out in front of me and bounced into the street, promptly followed by a dark haired girl, who I almost immeadiatly realized was "Bon". She grabbed th ball and started apologizing before even turning around to see who she had almost run over.
"Sorry, sorry...didn't mean to....Oh hey-your're,...um...Zac and Issac's brother" she smiled. Her teeth seemed extra white, maybe it was just her dark skin, or....
"um...Taylor" I started to hold out my hand, but she looked down and started dribbling the ball, I quickly withdrew it feeling kind of odd around her. She looked up again.
"Yeah, I know " She threw the ball at the basket almost half heartedly, I didn't really expect for it to go in but to my surprise it swooshed right through the net.
"Good shot" I clapped a little and smiled, it was then that she almost appeared to change. Her smile and body launguage relaxed and she walked a little closer. I looked at her trying to judge her age while also checking out what appeared to be a very nice set of legs and ...well... if she was one of Laceys friends, she must be somewhere around her age, but I had learned my lesson about age estimation with Ike many years ago. She was really quite tall for a girl, and her hair was back in a ponytail as it was the last time I had seen her at the door.
"So Taylor, I guess I'll see you tonight..." She was coming tonight? I was a little shocked, wondering how this had come about.
"Oh, you're going to come by?" I tried to sound smooth, my thoughts racing. She must be coming with Lacey....
"Yeah, I couldn't make it home for Christmas this year..." Okay, see, she was older, I wondered for a moment before asking whether she went to UOT, I hadn't seen her around before.
"You go to UOT?" I questioned, kind of half hoping it would give us some common ground.
"Nope, ORU, how about you?" I wanted to chuckle, it sounded kind of funny.
"Yeah, um...I'm at UOT, almost done though, another semester." I was pretty stoked about that as well, I hadn't goofed off like Ike, and I'm actually graduating a year early.
Awkward silence. I really wanted to stay and talk to her, but this wasn't going very well, if she was going to be there tonight I'd have another chance to try it again and I'd have time to be more prepared. She seemed pretty uninterested in this conversation as well.
"Yeah well, see you tonight..." I walked backwards a few steps before turning around and taking off at a faster pace than I had been walking at when we met. Now I had a reason to go home.

I came around the corner and was ready to cross over at the corner of Lacey and Kate's house when I saw Zac and Lacey sitting in his car in the drive. They were talking, I think, with another look, I realized they weren't. When did this happen? Man I miss everything. Ike had let me in on the conversation that he and Zac had at the pool hall that day. I had to admit, I wouldn't have wanted to be in Zac's boots, (hehe-- literally!) having to make a decision like that, but then again I wouldn't have put myself in that spot in the first place. I needed to find Ike, I had news!

Chapter 29

I don't know if you would call it frustration or irritation, but I decided that even though my heart lept into my throat every time I saw him, I was going to give him just a few more day to, well, make an honest woman out of me. I had taken this little excursion into dating with Zac very cautiously, fortunatly, since it didn't seem to be working. Well, it was working fine on my end and we were like best friends together, but nothing more from him. He was somewhat more affectionate than he had been all these years, but that was to be expected with the fact that we were actually dating.
The days had passed, and lilly liver that I am, I decided to get through Christmas to break the news to him. Things weren't working out. My heart hurt at the thought. Then he has to go and ruin my plans.

I had been so mad that one day. We had been out the nite before, dinner, and a walk along the river. I really and truly expected that he was preparing to finally make the move I'd been waiting for. The retaurant was dark and romantic, we had danced, then sat in the car and talked for a while before taking a walk. I had my hopes high. He hadn't taken me on this much of a real date so far. But there I was, back on the steps with him, and he merely kissed my forhead and hugged me breifly before walking back across the street. I stood on the porch watching him, nearly in tears. The next day, I felt like if I didn't talk to someone, I was going to explode. I had tried not to bring Kate into this, because of the fact that anything I told her, would be sure to get to Ike and well....so forth. Cornering her in the kitchen, and spilled out to her the whole sordid story. Ike walked in at the end, and I huffed away, not wanting him to see the tears threatening my eyes. I stood outside the kitchen door listening, knowing that she would tell him, and I wanted to know what she was saying.
Sure enough, she spilled the whole thing, well, maybe this was for the best, he'd talk to Zac, Then it would get back to Kate and eventually maybe I would come a little closer to finding out where I stood. I felt like I was twelve and passing notes in class.

I watched him stand there in the kitchen picking at the M~n~M's. I was still highly emabrrased from what hadtranspired in my room minutes before, so I sat quietly. He was just so adorable. It was like he had grown physically to his eighteen year old size, but inside, he was still that thirteen year old boy I had a crush on. I had to scully myself though. I was just going to get through Christmas and then end it. I hoped we could maintain our friendship, Ike and Kate had been through so much worse, I was sure it would be possible. He looked up at me, and caught me watching him, the corner of his mouth turned up on one edge in a slight smile. He turned towards me and I looked at him, curious as to what amused him, and before I could think otherwise, he had pulled me to him and gently touched his lips to mine. Not just once either. I could feel there was something more behind this, and I returned it with all I had in me. This was not a chance I was going to let slip by. The kiss was just what you would expect from Zac too, gentle at first and then with resolve and more passion as he gained confidence. Suddenly he paused, his lips still on mine and then slowly pulled away, I opened my eyes to look at him for a reaction and he was looking at....Ike and Kate standing in the doorway with big stupid grins. At least I didn't have to tell Kate.

Leaving soon after that, We left with no plans in mind, and spent the better part of the morning just chatting happily about Christmas and family, well his, ending up at the river that had actually become our spot. We had spent hours just sitting here talking. Today he had other plans. Almost as soon as we parked, he leaned over and kissed me again, almost in the same fashion as in the kitchen, a few little pecks, then more. I was genuinely suprised but no matter how much I was enjoying this, I had to stop him and ask him.
"Zac? he still pecked at my lips and neck, even with me obviously tring to say something. "Zac, why now?"
He stopped almost immeadiatly and looked at me with a hurt look in his eyes.
"huh...?" confusion was a factor that ran through all Hanson men, well maybe just men in general.
"You waited so long, why?" I just wanted to make sure that this was what it appeared to be. Zac taking the next step in our relationship. Not just Zac having a hormone attack.
"Is it okay...I mean..I'm sorry, I should have asked," he straightened himself and pushed at his hair with his hands.
"No...I mean yes..I just , I thought maybe you just wanted to be friends, and I ..." he looked like he might cry at any moment. He mumbled something I couldn't quite hear. "Zac..." I gave him a questioning look.
"I was scared" he said it nearly in a whisper, but his time I heard it and my heart melted. Now it was my turn to lean over and pull him into a kiss, I laughed to myself , I'm not that intimidating am I?

Chapter 30

Even though I was so confident and had my plans down pat, I still had this underlying feeling that something was going to go wrong. I called Tay into the room, and closed the door. Now with my unwitting accomplice, I was ready. I handed him sheet music and directed him to run over it once or twice. He was looking at me like I was off my loop. I told him that when he saw me dancing with Kate, somtime into the evening, he was to play this for me. This was part of Kate's present. He looked at the music and then at me, and ran over the keys.
"Ike this is familiar, what's it from?" Taylor was like that he could have only heard a song once, and would remember it for years to come.
"It's an old song, one she really likes. I lied, I wasn't sure that she had ever even heard it, but I had heard this song a few years back, and knew that his was the right for her.
"Is there words?" he questioned, looking a bit confused.
"Yeah, but that's my part." This was going to be talked about in the Hanson house for many years to come. He were the only one, beside Ashley, who was in on my plan. Ashleys job was camera and crowd control.

It wasn't near time for the others to start arriving yet, but Kate had come early to help mom with all those last minute things, I had heard her come in while talking to Tay and Zac. Wearing the outfit that she claimed to be her favorite, a black suit and beige sweater underneath, I quietly appeared at the entrance to to kitchen without anyone knowing I was there. I watched her and mom going about the last minute prepartions. She was just too beautiful to be described. The way she moved made the skirt she was wearing flutter behind her. My thoughts had been drifting lately, to domestic thought of her, not being able to wait until it was her in our house, fussing over things for our family. Our family....that was another thought pattern completely that I rarely dared to go. The actual thought of being able to wake up in the same bed with her, make love with her, have our children running underfoot, it just made my heart swell, and a much larger smile overtook my face. I saw that she had paid attention to my likes this evening as well and worn stockings and heels, an unusual thing for her.

I watched her for what felt like hours, knowing that it was only just minutes, when she looked up and saw me in the entrance. A brilliant smile overtook her face and she came to wrap me in a her arms and give me my early present she called it, then giggled. Mom giggled too, she was a romantic at heart, that's where it had come from in me. It amazed me more every day the different traits each one of us picked up from different parents. I smiled warmly at my mom, and just held Kate close enjoying the warmth of her next to me.