Then I was at his house. I started to get out of the car but stopped. I wanted to listen to the quiet. The quiet I was afraid I might not feel after Zac Hanson blowing back into my life.

I sat back down and closed the door. I could feel my heart beating in syncopation to the quiet thump of the music from the car stereo. I wanted to dart from the car as fast as I could move myself into his arms, yet the other side of me wanted to stay here, in this moment of anticipation.

I'm jolted from my thoughts as I sense his approach. He's tanned, and I squint to look, is he growing something or just unshaven, should I even ask?

Thee next moments are missing in time.

My face was in his hands. I could feel the heat of him as he drew nearer, the tickle of unshaven face as he found my mouth. His mouth opened, there was fire and urgency in his kisses. The air around us was charged.

I gasped.

"Miss me?" he whispered into my mouth.

"Oh God," I whispered back as he filled my mouth with his.

I have no memory of leaving the car or coming into the house. I watched, my body trembling with something between excitement and relief as he lit candles and turned off the light. He opened the deck door so the slight afternoon breeze breeze licked at us.

"Come here," he says, it's not a request.

~*~

This is the first time after returning from a tour that I felt like I was sucked into one of those old corney commercials where they run in slow motion toward each other, leaving the audience in anticipation of the kiss.

Everything was blur in the first moments, our kiss feels like we are melting into each other, drawing life from each other, the life that was kept from us these past weeks.

"Come here" I sound like I am ordering her - the words tumble from my mouth and surprise me, but she responds. Wrapping my arms around her, we are both silent and at peace in the warmth of ourselves.

I have always loved this house, the way the light plays on the walls, even in the afternoon. The lit candles mixed with the sunlight filtering through the trees cast shadows making the room seem dark, even though it's the middle of the afternoon.

"How long do we have." Her voice brings me back to the moment.

"All afternoon." I sit on the couch pulling her down beside me. Chills cover me as she breathes in close to my neck, but I can tell she's tense.

"I don't have to be over to Brady til 6," I glance at my watch, it's just 1 now.

Suddenly it registers as she kicks off her shoes and curls in beside me, she's wearing the dress. I know I'm supposed to notice this, that this was purposeful on her part.

I worked through this reunion in my thoughts over and over for the past few days. Today was not going to be the day to dive into bed in a rush. I want this to be a reunion, not a heated afternoon of sex that she's not ready for again. Just try to tell that to my body though. It's been this way since puberty hit, weeks of having girls and women flaunt themselves, takes a toll on your libido, and there's only so much you can handle yourself.

A half a laugh escapes me. I hate that. I feel 16 again with no control...

~*~

We haven't seen each other in six weeks. I wondered over the past few days whether it would be awkward or would we feel like no time had passed. It's some of each actually, but I'm tense inside, hoping it's not coming across to him. I think the one thing I missed the most was his scent, not cologne, but just Zac. I breathe him in, reveling in our silent reunion. Then a small chuckle from him. His hand runs the length of my body, stopping at my thigh and touching the dress lightly.

"Did I miss something?" I think he noticed the dress.

"Not at all...well kinda." A half smile erupts as he lays his head sideways on the crux of his arm.

"I'm sixteen...uh, I mean I feel like sixteen again." He breathes out. "Wait that sounds stupid - it's this, I'm all charged, I just want to ...." He pulls me to him in a heated kiss again. Seconds turn to minutes.

The soft fur along the edge of his jaw is better than I thought. It's a man thing, I guess, more of a turn on than you would think.

He breaks, with a small groan. He's flushed, am I?

"God Clarissa...I didn't think it would be like this." He smooths his hand across my cheek. "You taste so good, you feel so good..." he pauses, fingering the hem of the dress.

"You wore the dress..." There's that smile again. "Perfect for you..."

"It's your welcome home gift..." He noticed far sooner that I had thought he would. Michelle was right.

Why is it that life always rears it's ugly head when the flow just begin to set in. I can hear my cell phone in my purse, but have no intention of removing myself from under Zac to answer it. And again. He moves this time.

"Someone must need you." His hands go into his hair and he stretches. That man should never wear anything but a tank top. Period.

"Yeah, but I need you.." I laugh and attempt to pull him back to where we were.

"Check the phone, we've got all afternoon."

Heaving a sigh, I let him go and tend to what I'm sure is going to be the latest green or red shirt crisis at home. I forgot how nice it is just to watch Zac go about his business, shaking what is, by all assumptions, about 42 lbs of dirty clothing from from a bag half that size.

"Crisis averted." Sarah wanting to know what time we were getting to the theater.

"So where should we have dinner?..er, um lunch? well whatever." The no breakfast on a nervous stomach was starting to make it self known.

"Right here." Zac chuckles slightly. I cock my head to the side. "Can't bear to share me?" I laugh back with him.

"Well not only that..." he pauses and his slight smiles drains a bit. "We really can't go out in public today."

I wonder what's changed in the last six weeks. "Have I missed something?" I wonder aloud hoping I'm not being too dense.

He pulls me into his bearhug again, kissing the top of my head. " Every fan north and south is in town on a Hanson spotting mission today, including the ones at the bottom of my driveway."

He pulls the curtain away slightly and I can see out the blind. 10 maybe 12 people and several cars parked near the end of the drive, sitting on curbs. Just waiting. I was stunned. "It always happens after a tour, just for a week or two, then they slowly fade away and head back to their lives. Ending the tour in Tulsa is an added factor this time...it brings them out more than usual."

I still have the hardest time correlating him, Zac, my boyfriend, to stardom. I look at him and my stomach rumbles. He is so handsome, I know what they see in him.

"So..." he pauses. "..you know what to expect tonight..right?" He takes a pizza out of the freezer, I want to wonder how long it's been in there, but I'm hungry so I almost don't care.

"I want to say I do.." remembering some of the videos I've seen, but they are older now, it can't still be that way. "But tell me, what should I, Zac Hanson's girl expect?"

It's boring, actually, till we take stage..then the fun begins!" he does that eyebrow waggle thing. I think I trembled visibly as he reaches across the counter and gently slips his hand behing my neck and runs his tounge across my lips before gently kissing me.

~*~

I'm trying hard, really really hard not to just scoop her up and take her to the bedroom. I reason in my mind everything that I reasoned the first time around when we ended up there. Were adults, we're alone...no one has to be the wiser but us. I keep waiting for the signal, any signal from her that I can head this direction, but so far none.

She hasn't changed, well, maybe a little, her hair is longer, softer somehow. I like it this way. I need to warn her a little, but I don't want to scare her. I don't know how non local fans are going to react when they see her. Or how she's going to react when she sees me...the stage me, doing my job, making fans happy.

"So ...you know what to expect tonight, right?" She's seen some of the old video's and granted it's not that bad anymore. More than anything I want to warn her about the one's that get backstage, the ones she will come in contact with, the ones that will question her.

I can't stay away from her, all I want to do is taste her, smell her, hold onto her. I am charged, I can't wait for the show, I can't wait for her to see us perform. Stealing a kiss across the counter, I follow it around the edge, pulling her off the stool and pick her up. I take a few steps in the direction of the bedroom, then look at her, silently asking. Not so much for her yes or no answer, but for a connection with my feelings, are we on the same page? She tightens her arms around my shoulders and returns my stolen kiss, looking into my eyes, there is that unending trust.

A split second thought. Ri, laying there on my bed, both look so inviting. I pull of my shirt and wrap myself in beside her. I can feel he shake slightly as I pull her close.

" So, Mr. Hanson, what should I expect this evening?" her fingers are tracing my shoulder blades and up to my ear, I'm at her mercy.

Without even thinking, my hand glides down her thigh, under the edge of the hem...easing upward. Her leg wraps around mine, pulling her body completly into mine. My self control fleeting, I managed a strangled answer.

"People will want to know... who you are- it's up to you if you want to tell them."

I take a deep breath, trying to calm the reaction she's causing.

"I don't care what you say, but be prepared for a reaction, either way." My hand is high enough that I should be touching something, a little higher, nothing. I groan, running my hand across her firm round ass, nothing. Then, there it is, thong. I can't take any more, I pull her under me and kiss her, hard, my intentions are clear.

~*~

Who was I fooling, I knew we would end up right here, right where we are today. I knew it today, I knew a week ago when I was standing in the Victoria's dressing room approving, thinking of the look on his face when he saw..this.

His groans are approving, and he hasn't even seen it yet.

I'm still thinking about his muttered comment a few moments earlier..."People will want to know...It's up to me.." How do I answer that when even I don't know - what are we? Who am I to him, Zac Hanson.

"So what do you want me to say"...I ask in a momentary pause of his lips roaming my face and neck. He looks at me with a softness in his eyes I haven't seen before.

"Clarissa, you are my world, my everything." He places a gentle kiss on my forehead. "I missed you so much..." He pulls me into a breathless hug and whispers.."I love you so Ri, so much."

Moving slightly to look me in the eye. My heart is beating so loudly, I'm sure he can hear it. His cheek has one tear running down. Kissing away the single tear, I pull myself into his arms again. I don't ever want to leave this spot.

Flashes of my life running through my mind, a flash of Dan laying in the casket. A flash of my kids sitting with Zac laughing.

I pull back to look into his eyes, the softness has remained.

"I love you, Zac, I love you too."

My hands run to the minute buttons that line the dress front. Slowly, shakily, I unbutton...one at a time. He follows my lead, moving me to the edge of the bed into a standing position. The anticipation grows as each button disappears beneath its fabric. With both of us, the dress falls open within moments, to the floor moments later.

~*~

If I didn't know better, I would think I'm drunk. Everything seems like it's happening frame by frame.

Clarissa is only the second. The second to make me fall. She had consumed my thoughts for the past weeks, but I couldn't have thought that there was this much feeling, I guess it's just how you know, how you know it's real. Her reponse the same, "I love you, Zac, I love you too..." ringing over and over.

Another frame of the movie, the dress falling to the floor and her creamy skin appears.

This is the first time I have seen her open and beautiful, her petite curves - I just want to run my hands over every inch, nibble every soft surface. I kiss the one tiny brown freckle on edge of her breast that peers from a lace trim fantasy.

"For me?" I smile a shy evil half smile as I touch a lace trimmed edge. "All for you." Her reply with a shy smile.

[more soon]

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