.....we're born to shimmer,
we're born to shine,
we're born to radiate,
we're born to live, we're born to love,
we're born never to hate....
~Shawn Mullins~Shimmer~
I sat back in the warm leather of the car and re-read the letter for at least the 10th time.
Dearest Bonita,
The white culture has no respect for their family values and their elders and this boy in particular has nothing to offer you. What has he chosen to do with his life? You say he is a musician...that is fine, for a interest on the side, but a life for you he will never be able to make. You and my future grandchildren will live a destitute life with little respect and dignity . The life in America that I had envisioned for you when I spent my life savings to bring your mother here ,will be completely crushed, if you choose this path in your life.
Your mother knows not that I write this letter, but I have no other choice than to tell you that I cannot condone this and your union will never have my blessing. I also do not feel that God will cast his blessing upon a union of two souls from different ends of the earth, and to live without mine nor Gods blessing on this union would be throwing away the beautiful and prosperous life that I have worked so hard to provide you with for these 23 years.
Please listen to your heart, God and your father and make a decision based on what you truely feel your destiny will be.
Daddy
"How can he do this to her..." I slammed my fist down on the steering wheel as a lone tear dropped on the paper and the ink ran as the tear made it's way down the page. I swiped at my face and started the engine.
I had waited so many years for the right person to come along. No one could know how my heart ached evertime I saw Ike or Zac happy with their chosen soulmates. Well, I was still wondering about that with Zac and Lacey. It had been so many years, and their relationship just sort of ran along at the same pace as it always had. 3 years later and you would think that they were still those happy go lucky 15 and 18 year old kids running around town making trouble. Now I find the person that I feel will make *me* happy for the rest of my life and I am back in 1960 dealing with this...who would have believed in this day and age....
I pulled into Ike's drive and shut off the engine. even though it was late, I could see that light in the house were still on, as well as the light in Laceys apartment. Zac's car was no where in sight, so he must have finally gone back to our place for the night. I sighed and picked up the crumpled tear stained letter. Ike always knew what to do, but I bet I'd stump him with this one.
My heart is heavy, and I have thought this over time and again. A marriage with that boy will never make you happy. He is different from us in so many ways and I don't want to see your heart broken. Our heritage is a prideful one, and he knows nothing of living it, or raising your future children to respect it.
This wasn't the first time we had done this. I left my car at school and Lacey picked me up and we went to her place, well, her place was just the garage turned studio, that Ike and Kate had re-done when they finally got married a year ago. I kept telling Ike, the first time he caught me at her place in the morning, that nothing was going on. Not that he believed me. We just slept together, as bad as that may sound, really that's all we did. It was somehow easier for us to be physically close, that be apart and thinking about each other all the time. Now, though, we felt like we had to be a little more quiet about it, or risk an unending lecture from not only Ike, but Kate, and possibly even the parents if they were brought in on it.
"Shhhh, they'll hear you" she punched me in the arm resulting in even a louder yelp from me. I knew they were still up, because I had heard a car and a knock not too long before. If you listened through the kitchen door you could hear talking...sounded like Tay. We were quite a sight, both of us our ears against the door that led to the kitchen in the main house.
Lacey wanted to move out on her own when Ike and Kate finally tied the knot, but Kate wouldn't hear of it. The thought of living in a house with Ike and Kate dating and engaged was bad enough, but Married ?--God help us.....So this was a compromise, until she finished school--It was still a little uncomfortable sharing the kitchen with them, cause with newlyweds, you never know what you might walk in on...that's why we always knocked before entering the main part of the house. I wish whoever that was would just hurry up and leave, I'm hungry and I want to raid the fridge, Lacey and her rabbit food, she never has anything good in her fridge, Ike has all the good stuff in there.
Going back to the movie we had on, I crawled into bed beside Lacey and snuggled close. I could really get used to this, no wonder Ike walked around with than dumb grin permanantly plastered on his face for the last year. I had to laugh though, I knew they all thought we were really sleeping together and one day I walked in on Lacey trying to convince Kate that really we weren't. Her parting words to Lacey as I walked in were...
"Just remember, why buy the cow if you're getting the milk for free?" Still, every time I think about that, I laugh outloud, which I did, which I got another free jab in the side and a "shhhhh..." for. It took me the longest time to figure that out though, and Lacey had no mind to tell me either. I guess cruelty runs in the Ketterman genes.
I can't even begin to explain how finally marrying Kate has changed my life. That nite, Christmas eve, when I proposed, I thought we would just run out , get a marrige license and be done with it in a month or two....Boy was I wrong! Mom got in on the plans, and between her and Kate, 6 months of premarital counseling, it was 2 years and roughly 15,000 dollars later, we finally were on our honeymoon in a small town in California. Everyone thought we'd choose some faraway, european, destination, but the thought of staying in the states, in a small town where absolutly no one would dare to think we'd be, appealed to both of us greatly. We were by ourselves at a small Inn on the coast for 3 whole weeks. Traveling up and down the coast to cheesy tourist stops, and amazing sites. It was something that I never could have imagined, just being with her and no one else, away from the pressures of life, family and carreer for just a while.
The entire time we spent preparing for our wedding, though, Tay spent chasing poor Bonnie, he was relentless. It took her, gosh, 4 months to even agree to go out with him, then she drug him though the dirt, carelessly playing with his emotions for the next 6. I am not a huge Bonnie fan because of the way she led him around by the ear, but he was so head over heels with her, he didn't even realize it. When I told him what I saw, he claimed that she was just a liberated woman, trying to prove to herself that she didn't need a man, but that behind closed doors, she was a much different creature. It wasn't up until 3 months ago or so that he finally met her parents. Kate and Lacey, as well as mom, were a bit unstarched when they told them that Tay and her had "agreed" they wanted to get married. Kate groused about that one for weeks, and even told Tay off real good one day for not proposing to her in a romantic way ( "like Ike did") Tay just brushed her off and said that Bon would have laughed in his face if he had done something "corny like that" Corny, I wasn't corny...mom still got all teary eyed when we talked about it.
I thought I heard loud laughter coming from Lacey's apartment, I got up to look out at the drive wondering if Zac was in there with her, not that it would be out of the ordinary, but no car, she must be watching t.v. Kate came from upstairs, looking like an angel, and asked if I was coming to bed soon, I sure was...I got up and started to turn off lights and the T.V. when I heard a soft but insistant knock at the door. Who could that be at this time of the night? Tay stood at the door, with red rimmed eyes and a crumpled paper in his hand. Well so much for getting to bed early tonight.....