Walking slowly behind Christopher and dad, we wander through the house that was left in quite a mess by the search the police made. Finally we had been allowed back in this morning. I couldn't come back alone, it would have been too much. I needed to check the phone machine, and get Taylor some clothes, his hearing was late today.

Four beeps, and no messages...figures, they had all been calling to Mom and Dad's house. They all knew. I shoved a stack of books back into a shelf as I wallked past, kicking some pillows they had taken off the couch and just left on the floor.

"You think they could have picked up behind themselves" I said aloud to no one in particular.

"Zaaac" a yell resounded from the floor below. I jogged down the stairs and was completly blown away, or um, that's what Taylors room looked like. Not that you could tell if you were an outsider, his room was always a disaster, but they had torn it to shreds.

"Oh my god..." we all stood in or near the door and stared in disbelief. "Where do we start.."

I didn't want to think about this right now, I had to get Taylor some clothes and get them down to the jail, his hearing was in less than two hours. I pulled aside the closet door to find only three remaining item hanging in his closet. I then looked to the dresser. His clothes, they had taken all his clothes...

"Dad...they took everything" ...they had left a suit, his funeral suit as I called it, that was the only time he wore one, and a pair of Doc's.

"Go get some clothes from Ike and get them down there then." I started back towards the door when the ring of the phone gave us all a good start. It rang again before I could stumble over to it and pick it up.

"Hello?" I wondered who didn't know by now between the papers and the media, why would anyone call here? I almost half expected it to be a telemarketer.

"Hi, who's this?" said a breathless, or out of breath voice on the other end.

"Um, Zac" My heart sunk, a fan. I couldn't believe it sometimes, no matter how wonderful our fan base was in many respects, they just had no couth when it came to things like this.

"Oh God, Zac, it's Amanda..." My mind ran over all the people we knew, an Amanda, not among them. "..I just heard...uh, saw about Taylor."

"Amanda, I don't think I know you, are you a friend of Taylor's?" I am sure there are the girls in Taylor's life I don't know about, but it was relativly few.

"Zac, you know me, come on...It's been awhile,...But forget it, for now, I have to tell you, Bonnie, she's not dead..."

I nearly dropped the phone with this revelation. "She what...how.....how do you know..? I was yelling, hoping I didn't scare her. She spoke again, I suddenly realized who she was, soft spoken Amanda, the one from years ago.

"Jeez.... Zac.... calm.... Bonnie was here, she came here, a few weeks ago. She stayed the nite, and then I took her to the city to JFK, she took a flight to Spain, that's the last I saw of her. She hasn't called... nothing..." I was frozen. I was so overcome that I just handed the phone off to either Christopher or dad, I didn't even know which one. I could hear the conversation taking place, ....yes, and when....silence...and how do you know her?....I heard the same conversation again, this time with Christopher, ending with...how soon can you get here.

"We have her Ike, that bitch, she ran out on Tay, leaving him like this." The phone calls had been endless, and all in a few hours. It meant Taylor having to stay in another nite, but once he knew, he was almost happy to.

Christopher put off the hearing till Tuesday morning, got Amanda on a plane to get her here for a witness, and we all went together to tell Taylor, he cried. We cried. It was alot. She had done this purposely. The tears turned to anger in Taylor, Zac had already been there and back.

I always had a bad feeling about her from day one. The nite that Kate, Lacey and I had dinner with her, the first nite I met her I had concluded she was odd, that was all there is to it. Let's face it, but let's face it Taylor's not the most normal person you would find this side of the Mississippi, so they made a good pair. Taylor knew I wasn't totally fond of her, but respected his choice. I wonder if I could actually have prevented this in any way by telling him my true feelings.

I looked at the others sitting, but not comfortably around the kitchen table. We were all on edge waiting for dad to arrive with Amanda to tell us the whole story. I had a hard time figuring out who this Amanda was. Taylor said they had been involved for a bit after the 2000 tour. They had met several times up till then at our concerts, then came across each other quite by chance at a Dave Matthews concert in New York. If I remember correctly, she and Taylor were quite the pair. She filled his need for intellectual stimiulation, he, her need for excitement and glamour.

On that note we heard the gravel in the drive crunch, we all held our breath with anticipation. Mom stood at the foyer with her fingers to her mouth drumming them on her lips, opening the door when she heard the voices approach the porch.

"Amanda, everyone..." dad made a quick informal introduction. We all stood up, Zac rushed over to hug her to her great surprise. She was taken aback, but the poor guy was all pent up with emotion over this whole thing. He had been silent for three days, a first for Zac. We could all tell this had hit him hard.

We all sat late that nite. Amanda was at first quite uneasy, but slowly warmed up to everyone, and by the end of the evening, had Zoe sitting on her lap reading Dr. Suess books to her. I looked to Kate across the room surveying this scene with a small smile on her face. She was glowing. I crawled into the couch beside her and pulled her chin to look me in the eyes.

"Soon, Katy, soon..." We had confirmed the fact that we indeed were expecting the day we came back to Tulsa, but with all the debauchery over Taylor, we chose not to let on until things had calmed down. It would be soon.

The call came less that an hour before I was due in the courtroom, I had thrown up twice, and still was feeling shaky over the coming event. The buzzer rang and guard opened the door. Zac still hadn't brought me any clothes and I hoped that is what this was. I was not going to go into court in my jumpsuit. Someone would have a camera, and I would have this nightmare haunting me for life. Life, I wonder if they can do that to me without a body. I felt nauseous at the thought again.

"Visitors, Hanson, room 9" He walked behind me as I made my way down the hall. I walked in again to an empty room, wondering who it would be this time.

The door crashed shut behind me and clicked, as I heard the other door click and the first face I saw was Ike, Ike with a full grin, he rushed towards me. Zac, dad and Christopher close behind.

"We got her Tay, she not dead...she over in Europe somewhere, you're off the hook." I stood stunned, wanting to run and scream and jump for joy, but the questions rushed into my head like a tornado.

"How, what...who..." I couldn't even form a sentence, when the thought rushed into my head. She was alive. Bonnie was alive. The tears came. "Where was she, where'd you find her...?"

"We didn't Tay, your old friend Amanda called and said she had been with her a few days after she had disappeared." My tears stopped for a moment. No Bonnie?

But Amanda, I hadn't heard from her in over a year, she had been my rescue. We were still good friends, Amanda and I, though we rarly spoke. She had her life, I had mine. That's why it never worked with us.

I had only minutes left and so many unanswered questions. As I walked away with the guard, I looked over my shoulder at the four of them and a wave of relief washed over me. Back in my little 6x6, I contemplated and went from tears to anger and back again at the thought of what Bonnie had put me through. Most of the nite I sat thinking about her, us, our relationship, now looking back on it, it was bad. I was lonely, she was desperate. That makes a perfect combination, until it explodes. It had exploded. I still felt that tug in my heart when I thought of her and what we had shared, but as I would open my eyes and see where I had ended as a result of her selfishness, I would go right back to the anger that had just subsided.

I must have fallen into a restless sleep somewhere around 3 am, I awoke to the alarm bringing my breakfast, if you could call it that. The door opened and food arrived, along with a set of clothes. Ike's clothes that is, sheesh, couldn't they even have bothered to go get my own?

Dressed, I paced the small space I had. I knew that Amanda had proved my innocence, but I was still unprepared for what would go on in there. I rode to the courthouse in cuffs, one of the guards even made small talk with me. I am guessing that word of my innocence had made it this far, up until now, they had all treated me with coolness and even a bit of distaste. I noticed several familiar cars in the parking lot as we pulled down into the bottom of the courthouse. It was almost over.