I could tell before I even reached the chair she was perched on at the table that I was in trouble about something. What, I couldn't tell you, but none the less I knew. She looked up as I came into the kitchen. Her eyes spoke volumes...I actually had the sudden urge to turn around and run. She quietly got up , brushed past me with her eyes burning into mine and headed for the front
hall. I followed behind her, not too close, fearing when she was going to blow. We had been in a few knock down-drag outs before, her temper was legendary and she quickly got the best of me every time. Peering around the corner I saw her standing there with tears flowing down her cheeks holding a large brown box. She shoved it roughly into my arms and flung the front door open, still without so much as a word. I knew instantly what this was, what this meant, but didn't know why or what had led to this.

"Bon, what...why.." the tears were headed up my throat as well, we had come so far and this was how it ended or so it seemed.

"How could you Taylor," her voice just above a whisper but anger filled the low tones."You thought I was helpless?...He's MY father Taylor, I knew how to handle him...." her voice was becoming louder and louder, it struck me what this was about, my visit to her dad. It had been almost a full week and I had meant to tell her, but it never came up, or I never really wanted it to. I started to shut the front door not wanting the entire neighborhood knowing our dirty laundy. She stopped it and pointed. I stepped onto the porch, feeling sick to my stomach, she had to understand.

"I did it for us, Bon, he had to know that I was worthy and if flaunting what I had and have accomplished was how I was going to do it....." all I saw was furthur anger in her after this comment.

"YOU had no right to go behind MY back to him...it's worse now than it was...you want to know...." She took her hand and pushed me in the chest making me stumble back a step "....You want to know what he thinks of you NOW!!!" her voice was echoing through the old porch and I am sure every person in the neighborhood could hear the tiniest details.
"Bon...I'm sorry.." I dropped the box of assorted items, I am guessing all mine, on the ground and reached for her, she was angry, but also visibly in pain over all this. She batted my hand away and put her face in her hands as she broke down.
"Tay, he said you're a whore, a male prostitute, he said. He said you sell yourself to those girls, that it has nothing to do with the music. How could it have gone so wrong? The lump that threatened in my throat broke and I felt the tears running down my face. I took a chance again to touch her but her hand came up immeadiatly to bat my hand away and as she did, it hit me in the face. I wasn't even too sure whether it was an accident or not. I looked at her, shocked, touching my face where her hit had landed She just looked up at me with those blue, blue eyes. A shiver ran through me.

"I love you Taylor, I always will." The door slammed shut in my face. There I stood on the old porch of that victorian house she so dearly loved. Me and my box, nothing else to do but leave, give her some time. I strolled casually back to my car in the drive wiping the tears from my face and gently touching the sore spot she had hopefully unintentionally left on my face. I noticed Marjie, the neighbor across the street, giving me a look, she probably heard the whole thing.

Skippy creamy peanut butter, her near favorite thing in life. She'd take spoons full of it and eat it right out of the jar. We had some really bad jokes invovling it too, one more thing I can't wait until marriage for...Okay, back on the right track now. It was funny, even though she always smelled like roses, she always had the subtle taste of peanut butter when I kissed her, it was like something I had just gotten used to. She was always sneaking a spoon or a finger into the jar, so it was no wonder.
HeHe, got it..." I was talking to myself as twisted the lid back on, looking at it carefully and weighing it in my hands. No way would she supect.
"Got what?" Tay and his long face came walking into the kitchen just then.
"Jeez, has Lacey been here?" he was looking at the mess I had going, peanut butter everywhere, the bowl full I scooped out of the bigger jar to make it fit, all over the counter and needless to say, all over me. I just smiled at him, but no smile in return.

Looking at the jar and weighing it in his hands himself, he put it down .
"Good job, feels perfect, she'll never suspect." The words came out in a monotonous tone, but I was used to that. The past few days living with Tay was like living with the walking dead. I think it might be worse, because he just doesn't really know. She never told him it was over or not, although I think a box full of my stuff being delivered to me would be a pretty good indicator. She's not returning his calls, and she's not leaving her house. The regular spots he could always find her at, she's no longer there, and she has a sub covering her practices at school.
"Hey Tay...?"
"Hmmpf.." not really an answer but at least a response from the couch blob.
"Why don't you just go over there? She can't ignore you forever, you have to settle this." He looked up, with no response and the back at some talk show on TV, well at least it wasn't soaps, then I would know he was in trouble.
"I'll go with you later...if you want..." Not that I thought my offer would make a difference, but I thought I'd try. Suprisingly he looked up with a brighter look on his face.
"You'd come with me?" I think he was surprised at my offer, usually it was him and Ike that did the brotherly bonding moments like these. "Isn't today your day with Lacey, aren't you..."
"...Yeah, but our appointment is this morning, and I am taking her to the park with this at lunch time" I picked up the jar of Skippy. "We should be done by late afternoon... I'm sure we can have a while later this afternoon to go get some answers." He smiled and shook his head..wow that was a first, it had been days since I saw him smile.
"Thanks, Zac, that means alot, thanks...."

Sitting there with pastor Dan and Lacey, I couldn't wipe the big old dumb grin off my face, I felt like Ike right now, all sloppy and mooshy. Still, he walked around with that look on his face. Ugh...Is this what happens when you decide to get married?
"You seem happy today, Zac," Dan's comment shook me from my own thoughts.
"Well, yeah, um, we had a good talk, we got alot out in the open..." I was trying to cover for the fact that I was daydreaming instead of actually listening to what was going on. "The park idea was great, we're going back today for lunch...we'll get some more done." Lacey squeezed my hand ansd giggled, shaking her head,
"Zac, you need to be here on this planet,..." I'd been caught.
"Um, yeah, I uh...what were you saying?"
"The next chapter is about planning for the future, he wanted know if we wanted to skip ahead to something more applicable, since we haven't really made any definite plans yet." I grabbed my book and paged through that chapter.
"No, let's do everything, we need to do all of this...." I looked back at Dan and he smiled a knowing smile at me, I think he suspected what was going to happen in the near future, he just didn't know it was today, in less than an hour to be correct.
"Okay, then do this, and if you get around to it, just work ahead as far as you guys want, I'll see you in a couple of weeks."

Glancing at my watch, I realized I was early for the next step, I'd have to stall to make sure that Ike and Ashley had everything set before we arrived. When I told Ike, he asked if I wanted him and Ash to tape it for me, I hesitated, not wanting anyone else there for it, just her and I, but he said they could set things and leave, so I agreed. I had told them we'd be there at noon, knowing that our appointment with Dan usually went two hours. Today we were done early, wouldn't you know it.
Taking the long way around the back side of town, catching every even near yellow light and we still were a few minutes ahead of schedule. I pulled into the Quick Stop, thinking quickly of what I could run in and get to waste some more time. I walked past the liquor shelves thinking I could use a good strong one right now, my stomach was really beginning to tumble and walked to the back isle...
"Think, think, think.." grabbing a bag of chips and a Reeses, Lacey would like that, I headed to the register letting everyone go ahead of me. I looked at my watch quickly again, okay, I was just a few minute early now, surely they'd be done and out of there by now.
" A sweet for my sweet"..I tossed the Reeses on her lap and she happily tore into it, giving me a chocolate and peanut butter kiss on the cheek.

Approaching the park, I saw Ike and Ashley leaving the far exit just in time. The red balloon we'd agreed on, hung in the tree where it was set at. Now I was just beginning to feel downright sick, She was going to suspect something if I didn't get ahold of myself right now.

Tay was nervously tapping on the counter waiting for us to go. He knew that she'd be at home if she wasn't at practice as I had reported to him.
"So what are you going to do?" We were on our way over to the house and he was actually sweating, looked like he had just finished the first set at a show. Man, this guy had it bad.
" Can you go to the door?...She won't open the door if she knows it's me, I can bet that much. Get her to come outside, then maybe can you disappear for a while, that is, if she actually will talk to me."
"Yeah, I'll walk back up to mom and dad's, it just few blocks, come get me there when you're done." he rubbed his hands on his pants as we pulled up, I stayed on the back side of the house so she wouldn't see me coming.

I saw the antique little peep whole window open up and she looked at for a moment before opening the door up.
"Zac, what's up...." She looked worn, or tired, I guess this was weighing heavy on her too. Motioning for her to come sit on the steps with me, she shut the door behind her and sat down beside me in the warm sun.
"You gotta talk to Tay, he's miserable..." I knew he was somewhere close, listening, waiting for the right moment to make his appearance. " He made a mistake, can't you forgive him?"
"It has nothing to do with forgiveness Zac...It has to do with life. if he'd go behind my back now, he'll do it when were married. I won't marry someone like that.....that's beside the point of everything else." She put her head down on her knees, I could hear her voice wavering towards the end of that last sentence. Tay took this moment to approach and stand in front of her. She looked up at the movement and took a deep breath,looking at me I got a death glare. Not like I'd never gotten one before, she wasn't especially fond of my brand of humor.

Starting to head down the walk, their voices were straining to be quiet, but very obviously arguing. I raised my hand in a wave to the lady across the street, it seemed like everytime I was here she was out in her yard. I wasn't even one house away and I heard Bonnie say "Taylor , NO!" and Taylor answering back, not quite loud enough for me to hear. I took a few steps back to see what was going on. Taylor had Bonnie in his arms, like a baby and was carrying her to the car, she was hitting him in the chest, not very convincingly I might add, crying, as her gently put her in the car. I had to laugh as he quickly ran around to the other side getting in and backing out the drive. You have to push him, but Tay will get what he wants, no matter what. I was glad they were going to finally talk it out.

They needed to get this done today, tommorrow we were off to Jersey to pick up the busses, then we had five full weeks on the road. For one of the first times on a long road trip, Lacey was coming with us, I couldn't wait to see mom's face when I told her about this morning. I reached up to touch my cheek, I am sure it will be plenty sore by the time dinner rolls around. That thought made me pick up the pace, dinner made by mom, I am sure I could weasel her into making my favorite.