Sometimes I wonderwhat'll become of me
There ain't much left of what I used to be
Her love shone on me like the morning light
Now here I am alone again tonight.
~Jonny Lang~Still Rainin'~
The last 24 hrs had been nothing other than insane. The awards show went fine and all the average after parties were attended for promotional sake only. Not that anyone would remember we were there, they were all half wasted. The fans from hell showed up after the show making it impossible for us to do or see anything in the city, so we pulled out early. Tay was insane anyhow, not able to reach Bonnie now almost two weeks in, another reason we pulled out early, changing our route to head through Tulsa on the way to the next stop in Detroit. Probably was a good thing we weren't able to venture out of the hotel anyhow, as Kate relayed with gales of laughter Zac and Lacey's adventure to a chapel the night before the show.
Lacey will never have a boring life with Zac in tow. That guy can keep life interesting at any time of the day or nite. Kate tells me that he actually made an effort to get Laceys to marry him in the Elvis chapel in Vegas. Luckily she refused, if she hadn't we'd of been shy a drummer when mom found out. Kate and mom were insepearable during the wedding plans for us, and I assume it will only go the same direction with Zac...though I have the feeling this will not be your average wedding, no matter how hard Lacey will try for it to be. Grabbing Kates hand, I squeezed it and gave her a kiss on the cheek as I watched the countryside whiz by from the bus window.
Tay's pacing was beginning to get annoying, how long can you pace on a moving bus? He was worried and had a right to. No calls returned or answered from Bon in 11 days. That was unusual for even Bonnie, the queen of unusual. It is no secret that Bonnie isn't my first choice for Tay. Out of all the possible choices he has had open to himself, he chooses her. I still will never understand it, but I have a distinct feeling that the thrill of the chase had something to do with it.
Many hours of on and off sleep with Lacey by my side and a feeding frenzy or two later, I watch as the country side starts to get that familiar feeling as we pass the city limits of Tulsa. This unexpected visit home wasn't as deliriously great as they had been in the past, but a fresh load of clothes and a hug from mom was welcome. Oddly enough I really missed having the family with us at times. When they still travelled with us, I thought I'd go crazy if I didn't get some peace and quiet, yes, that is me, Zac, talking. What I wouldn't give now, occasionally, for Mack jumping in my bunk or Zoe losing my show stix two minutes before curtain.
I looked over a Lacey asleep and looking like an angel on the bunk next to me. She had been asleep for hours, I guess I wore her out in Vegas. I thought about how cool it would have been to getmarried in that funky Elvis chapel. What a story to tell our kids. Even with the promise that she could have her full white wedding, there was no convincing her. I am going to marry her sooner or later. I just wish it was sooner. I recall all of the stages of planning with mom that Kate went through. I can also remember walking in on a fight or two, (oh sorry disagreement-they don't have fights, I was once told) about things that were or were not going to happen. I heaved a big sigh...it would have just been so much easier. I ran my hand down the side of Laceys body and twined my fingers in hers. She awoke slowly and looked at me through sleepy eyes.
"We're almost home.." I lightly kissed her lips. She stretched in the small confined space and make a high pitch noise. I loved it when she was just waking up, I think that is one of the times that I find her so adorably sexy...don't know why, I just do.
Pulling up in front of Bonnies house I had the odd feeling that something was not right. Her car was there, pulled all the way back to the garage, not normal for her. I raced up the door steps and knocking, let myself in with the key I had.
"Bon..?" Silence. "Bonnie..?" Heading upstairs assuming she was napping, I pulled the bedroom open. No one.
"Where is she? " I sighed exhasperatedly to myself. Next stop the school, I glanced at my watch not knowing really if it was the correct time or not. We had been in too many time zones the last two weeks to be sure. It was getting dark, and I knew that it was too late for her to be at school, but I had to check just to know. She had to be somewhere close in order for her car to still be at home.
I pulled on the door of the gym. Locked. I slid down on the walk with my back to the door feeling the tears well in my throat. I need her. I needed to feel her arms around me. I needed her to kiss me and let me know she was alright. That feeling wouldn't go away. Two more stops on the way to mom and dads, Ike's house and my house, neither of which she would have been able to walk to or has ever in the past. Feeling shakey and dejected as I pulled into the drive and hour later, I knew thay had already started to eat an I'd more that likely get told I was being disrespectful, but hey they needed to understand. I turned off the engine and saw a extra car in the drive. It looked slightly familiar but I couldn't place from where.
I just about feel backwards with shock when I enetered the living room. The sat the entire family along with aong with Ray and Georgia....Bonnie's parents. My mouth hung open and I realized that there was a somber mood among those present.
"Where is Bonnie!" I was just about on the verge of tears as I approached them, almost begging for them to tell me.
"Mr. Hanson, that's what we'd like you to tell us. We haven't heard from her in almost two
weeks." My heart dropped to my feet and the tears that had been threatening, spilled over, right in front of the whole room. A 23 year old man standing, crying.
We all sat and put together a time line of the last time anyone had heard from her. It was me and the look on her dad's face was not what I would have wanted had I been alone wih him when he found out I had spent most of the nite with her before we left. I glanced over at him once or twice and all I could see was anger and venom. I knew he thinks this is my fault. Hell, I think it's my fault.
